The decision isn’t cut and dry. Just because some people choose to live doesn’t mean they are happy everyday, or thankful for every breath they take. The decision to live is the most painful decision anyone has made, and each person continues to make the choice every time they wake up. Every time they hit a rough patch in their day. It is a daily struggle that is never discussed, because we only hear the stories of those who chose a different route. And we try to sympathize with the victims impacted by a loved one’s suicide, because “how can anyone be that selfish?” But for so many, selfishness, in this respect, is admirable and brave.

We don’t despise or condemn a cancer patient for refusing treatment, or letting go in a hospital room. So why do we condemn and displace someone suffering just as much, for letting go? For doing what they needed to do, because living was a constant, painful reminder of how miserable they are?

Because we don’t understand their disease? Because it “isn’t a real disease?” Because depression and being suicidal doesn’t hinder a person from living normally? Please, stop calling suicide selfish.

People wake up every morning, while you are making breakfast and brewing coffee, struggling to get out of bed. Not because they could use a few more hours of sleep, but because the thought of moving and interacting with the world is painful. Moms put on a smile for their children, to hide the reality of severe insecurity and disappointment within themselves. Fathers push chemical dependencies because that is the only way to make it through a day of debilitating, self-destructive thoughts. Teenagers play sports, immerse themselves in their school work, and get jobs to overcompensate for their extensive fear of failure. Please, stop calling suicide selfish.

A person’s choice to commit suicide is anything but easy. They know you love them, but their minds won’t let them believe it. Just because it was a father, doesn’t mean he was selfish or didn't love his children. It means he couldn’t hold on anymore. But he wanted to. Everyone who struggles with the choice wants at least one reason to stay and love and live. But when you’re trapped inside your own mind - the one place that is supposed to be a solace - it is so hard to stay and endure the pain that depression inflicts. Letting go is the bravest decision some people can make, because it is them setting themselves free from a demon that refused to leave, refused to quit.

So, please, stop calling suicide selfish. Stop telling people that their choices are not acceptable, because you would not do what they chose to do. Stop whispering “the ugly truth” about suicide, because it isn’t the truth. Let people die if they want to.