I'm Not Being 'Nice' Anymore And I'm Not Sorry

I used to be so nice.

To everyone. Like genuinely too nice, and not in a fake way. I would be wronged and the only reaction was to be passive and accommodating. I would always bounce back like nothing ever happened. I was so okay with everything. I wore my heart on my sleeve and gave all of it to everyone. It's the Libra in me that gives me the urge to always keep the peace.

But by keeping the peace, I was losing myself.

I was spreading myself way too thin by caring too much for the wrong people. Finally, I learned that there is more love to give for the people deserving of it and much more love for myself if I cut out toxic people. I started erasing people from my thoughts. I didn't hold any grudges or harbor harsh feelings, I just started letting people go. And I stopped worrying if I was doing something awful by doing that.

I was then able to give more love to the people who give their love to me. My relationships grew stronger. I feel more comfortable with myself. I realized how deeply and powerfully I can love and how much I love to love when it's for the right people. Some deserved to have all of my heart and there are others who don't deserve any of it.

Like with most good things, something bad comes right along with it.

My negative was that the people I stopped worrying about thought something was wrong with me and I seemed like I had changed for the worst. I didn't feel like I did and I still don't; as long as I'm self-aware and I know what kind of person I want to be, it won't be a problem. I've never been happier with myself. And all I did was lessen my tolerance of mistreatment. I stopped taking what I didn't deserve and what I didn't need. I stopped faking good feelings around those who genuinely irritated me.

It didn't matter if they were family, friends, or just acquaintances. I stopped caring about who anyone was before I had the realization. It was the best realization I have ever had. I didn't have to respond to people, I didn't have to pretend I was willing to be everyone's best friend and I didn't have to act unbothered by the way I had been treated.

I was never under any obligation to treat them a certain way. They can have my respect without taking anything else from me. I stopped giving parts of myself away when I didn't feel like it. If that makes me a bad person then I'm okay with it.

I can't make everybody happy if I'm not happy myself and I can't keep the peace when I don't have any.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

More on Odyssey

Facebook Comments