Stop Asking Newly Married Wives When They Are Having Children

Stop Asking Newly Married Wives When They Are Having Children

You are being incredibly rude.

Can we please stop asking newly married wives when they are going to start having children? And for those of us who got married and did not want to waste our time with a long engagement, if we are only getting married because we are with child?

First of all, it does not matter how close you are; mother, sister, grandma, best friend since the age of 2, or in-law of all types. I'm sorry (not really), you are being incredibly rude.

What is it to you?

That's right, none of your damn business. When a husband and wife choose to have children, in whatever way they want, that is personal. Just for clarification, between those two. So maybe they don't want kids. That is their choice. So, stop grilling.

With being rude, you never know what a person's situation is. So, when you are not only prying for information that does not even pertain to you, you are more than likely making the newly married woman very uncomfortable, and/or you just made her very mad.

You do not know a person's situation.

A couple who just got married might not be ready to have kids, or maybe they just want to enjoy as many years as they want to themselves. Some couples just do not want kids. While some couples might want to adopt or be foster parents. Some couples might not be able to have children for medical reasons, so they might not have any or just adopt. All of this is personal.

Once again, not sorry here, it's rude to be asking.

Besides, why do we live in a world where everyone thinks people get married just to start popping out babies?

This is not the baby boomer time, where all women do is have babies. To me, it is not even feasible to be thinking this. I don't know what anyone would even think this is ok to think.

However it started, it needs to end, NOW.

Most people do not get married with only the thought of children. Marriage is about joining two people together who love each other unconditionally and wants to spend the rest of their lives together.

Never once, not even on TV, have I seen a wedding ceremony that mentioned the reason for getting married is to just have lots of babies starting as soon as the rings go on the fingers. While having children is usually mentioned, it is not the only goal. So, stop asking!

Honestly, why do people even think it is ok to ask? It is like asking why someone is fat. You are being rude. But I feel like the same people that ask about how soon you're having kids, asks why fat people are fat.

As I said before, family included, it is rude. It does not pertain to you.

While I am on it, it is also the same way with how many kids, the timing, the naming, if sharing the gender, or the way of going about it, literally, all of it does not pertain to you. So, butt out.

The second question. Stop asking us couples who didn't really want to waste our lives with an engagement, if we got (or are) getting married because we are pregnant. Again, how do you even find that ok to ask? Once again, none of your business, so keep your nose to yourself.

So here are your 'what ifs' with this one. All of which could very well be happening or happened to mind you.

What if the woman is?

What if she is and her husband doesn't know, or her family?

What if she is and she is having complications?

What if she is and has always been told she medically can't?

What if it is too early to tell people (yeah there is a too early to be for sure time)?

What if she was and she lost it?

Or hey, what if the couple got married because they did not feel like wasting 6 months plus just to get married because they are ready and sure of their love and everything else?

Once again, you never know what a person has going on, so when it is something as personal as pregnancy, stop asking. I'm sorry but if you ask a woman who was and just lost it, you are a terrible person.

Those people who ask these horribly rude questions are probably thinking, well I didn't know. Yes, that is true, you didn't know because it was none of your business to know about to start with, hints the whole don't ask.

Also, just another tip, if you ask once and get told no, stop asking the couple. There is no need to keep harassing them when you were given an answer, you're once again, being incredibly rude.

I don't understand why people these days just have to be nosey and know everything about someone.

Having children is a very personal subject, it is not like talking about the vacation you are planning. As for both questions listed, you are digging into a couple lives. It is no one's business no matter how close you are.

You do not know a person's situation. If a couple wants you to know something they will tell you. Chances are if you are as close as you think you are you will know and might have already had it hinted to you if you shut your mouth and open your ears.

So, leave us newlyweds alone. If you don't, stop thinking we are rude when we tell you off. Seriously we are sick of it, even the husbands. So, you better keep these questions away from them too. They get more upset than us wives.

Cover Image Credit: EMusselman Photography and Design

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Never forget to thank the most slaytastic people in your life.

This week, I went through the experience of a nervous breakdown. Stress that had built up from the previous week built up, and I ultimately succumbed to it. What I did realize in the midst of it, though, was that I have some pretty amazing people who love me. For that, I am eternally grateful, and I wanted to show them just how much they mean to me with this article.

Thank you to the people who never once questioned me.

This week, I questioned myself a lot. My innermost workings consisted of "what could I have done better in (insert here)?" But it was in the people that I surrounded myself with that never questioned who I was or what I did. It gave me a glimmer of hope in the midst of the darkness.

Thank you to the people who had my back.

I know that I can be a lot to handle at points. But there are people who have stood by me and never once said that I was too much. In this time, they were essential for being the light that got me out of my own long tunnel. As humans, we don't exactly know why people come into our lives or for what reason, just that they do. It makes me incredibly happy to have the people that saw beyond the outside mess and were willing to still love me.

Thank you to the people who intervened and got me help when I needed it.

I didn't know it when I was in the situation, but my breaking down was a desperate cry for help. I know now that the people who did this care so deeply about me. I am fortunate enough to have those friends that pulled me aside and said they would get me the help I needed.

Thank you to my haters for being my motivators.

Only kidding, just figured the people reading this would need a break in the sappiness.

Thank you for those who did not judge me when I was a mess.

I only saw myself in the mirror once over the course of my stress induced meltdown. However, when I did look in the mirror, I saw what a hot mess I really was. For those who did not judge me, I am so forever grateful. You built me up in moments when I felt low, and I cannot thank you enough for doing that. I am so lucky to have the friends that I do.

Thank you to the people who encouraged me to take part in some much needed self care.

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A Letter To The Mean Girls In High School

You're not as cool as you thought

Dear mean girls from high school,

How are you? I hope you're well, but not that well. I'm writing this letter to tell you a few things.

We spent our days passing in the high school hallways, sitting in class together, and sitting near each other at the long, dirty, sticky lunch tables. You used to be my friends. Little did I know you were the complete opposite. It's funny how the people you think you're closest to are the ones who are actually your arch enemies. I know this now, and I thank you for teaching me how to spot your breed in college, because now I can avoid wasting time on people like you.

Luckily, you didn't make high school all that bad for me. You just helped me find my lifelong friends. I hope you found people like yourself at college, and have realized that talking about people and spreading rumors is actually not that cool. You can't even put it on your resume so what's the point? It's even more funny to look back at this now, because their way of life is totally changed once you get to college. It's every mean girl's worst nightmare. There's no friend group that's more popular than the other, and people don't have time to waste on trying to impress you to make you like them. People like you fed off of that feeling in high school, and now you're starving, because no one's going for that kind of bait anymore.

I can't sit with you? NO problem.

In reality, no one is better than anyone else, and that is something I learned as soon as I walked up to get my diploma in that cap and gown, and I hope you guys have learned that by now too.

You don't like my outfit?

My hair is curled badly?

Well, you've just waisted some precious oxygen and time by saying that, and have also waisted some brain power by even bothering to think it because quite frankly, I don't care.

I am a firm believer in what is called Karma, and that right there is what helped me laugh off the whispers I constantly saw, or the conversations I overheard discussing your plans for the weekend, which by the way, didn't involve anything exciting. I can guarantee those snapchat stories you put up made it look more fun than it seemed. I've been a part of it before, and your type of friend group does not know what fun is.

It's always hard to criticize the mean girls, because hey, they're perfect right? Kidding. It's hard to criticize you because no one really knows what's going on at home, or behind the scenes. Most girls like you cause problems, start rumors, and fail to make others feel comfortable in their own school environment is because of your own insecurities, and I'm sorry about that, but please stop making us confident people feel otherwise.

I hope now that you have experienced a bigger college environment and have realized that it's not always going to be you standing over a high school of 500. In the real world, not everyone is going to know you by name, and not everyone is going to go out of their way to say hi to you in passing. Because in reality, no one wants to waste their time on people who don't really care about them. I know I don't.

Well, it's been nice. See ya never, from yours truly,


Cover Image Credit: msmojo

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