Can we please stop asking newly married wives when they are going to start having children? And for those of us who got married and did not want to waste our time with a long engagement, if we are only getting married because we are with child?
First of all, it does not matter how close you are; mother, sister, grandma, best friend since the age of 2, or in-law of all types. I'm sorry (not really), you are being incredibly rude.
What is it to you?
That's right, none of your damn business. When a husband and wife choose to have children, in whatever way they want, that is personal. Just for clarification, between those two. So maybe they don't want kids. That is their choice. So, stop grilling.
With being rude, you never know what a person's situation is. So, when you are not only prying for information that does not even pertain to you, you are more than likely making the newly married woman very uncomfortable, and/or you just made her very mad.
You do not know a person's situation.
A couple who just got married might not be ready to have kids, or maybe they just want to enjoy as many years as they want to themselves. Some couples just do not want kids. While some couples might want to adopt or be foster parents. Some couples might not be able to have children for medical reasons, so they might not have any or just adopt. All of this is personal.
Once again, not sorry here, it's rude to be asking.
Besides, why do we live in a world where everyone thinks people get married just to start popping out babies?
This is not the baby boomer time, where all women do is have babies. To me, it is not even feasible to be thinking this. I don't know what anyone would even think this is ok to think.
However it started, it needs to end, NOW.
Most people do not get married with only the thought of children. Marriage is about joining two people together who love each other unconditionally and wants to spend the rest of their lives together.
Never once, not even on TV, have I seen a wedding ceremony that mentioned the reason for getting married is to just have lots of babies starting as soon as the rings go on the fingers. While having children is usually mentioned, it is not the only goal. So, stop asking!
Honestly, why do people even think it is ok to ask? It is like asking why someone is fat. You are being rude. But I feel like the same people that ask about how soon you're having kids, asks why fat people are fat.
As I said before, family included, it is rude. It does not pertain to you.
While I am on it, it is also the same way with how many kids, the timing, the naming, if sharing the gender, or the way of going about it, literally, all of it does not pertain to you. So, butt out.
The second question. Stop asking us couples who didn't really want to waste our lives with an engagement, if we got (or are) getting married because we are pregnant. Again, how do you even find that ok to ask? Once again, none of your business, so keep your nose to yourself.
So here are your 'what ifs' with this one. All of which could very well be happening or happened to mind you.
What if the woman is?
What if she is and her husband doesn't know, or her family?
What if she is and she is having complications?
What if she is and has always been told she medically can't?
What if it is too early to tell people (yeah there is a too early to be for sure time)?
What if she was and she lost it?
Or hey, what if the couple got married because they did not feel like wasting 6 months plus just to get married because they are ready and sure of their love and everything else?
Once again, you never know what a person has going on, so when it is something as personal as pregnancy, stop asking. I'm sorry but if you ask a woman who was and just lost it, you are a terrible person.
Those people who ask these horribly rude questions are probably thinking, well I didn't know. Yes, that is true, you didn't know because it was none of your business to know about to start with, hints the whole don't ask.
Also, just another tip, if you ask once and get told no, stop asking the couple. There is no need to keep harassing them when you were given an answer, you're once again, being incredibly rude.
I don't understand why people these days just have to be nosey and know everything about someone.
Having children is a very personal subject, it is not like talking about the vacation you are planning. As for both questions listed, you are digging into a couple lives. It is no one's business no matter how close you are.
You do not know a person's situation. If a couple wants you to know something they will tell you. Chances are if you are as close as you think you are you will know and might have already had it hinted to you if you shut your mouth and open your ears.
So, leave us newlyweds alone. If you don't, stop thinking we are rude when we tell you off. Seriously we are sick of it, even the husbands. So, you better keep these questions away from them too. They get more upset than us wives.