Yeah, it hurts to see their social media post and that they seem to be having the time of their lives with new friends, boyfriend, or girlfriend, but you are only hurting yourself by dwelling on what isn’t yours anymore.

Letting go is one of the hardest things to do. We choose to not move on because we hold onto the memories and old feelings we shared with that person. You spend so much time with someone, and then the relationship (whether romantic or platonic) is over. Just like that. Whether it was over something stupid, something serious, or maybe even just from drifting away with time, it’s over, and we have to realize that it’s not in our control.

Broken relationships occur in our lives and gift us with knowledge and growth that prepare us for bigger things to come.

Failed relationships teach us more than what heartbreak feels like. They teach us what we want, don’t want, or need to be the best version of ourselves. They teach us that we don’t need to settle for less and that we shouldn’t have to put up with immaturity, infidelity, or indecisiveness to be what most people consider “happy” (because apparently, people seem to believe being in a relationship is the only thing that can bring a person happiness). They give us the knowledge and power to guide our lives in the right direction so that we don’t allow toxic people into our lives again. This brokenness grows us and prepares our hearts for new relationships or opportunities that may come into our lives. The heartbreak we thought we would never live through is what grew us the most. Because of the awful time that we faced, we can know what to look for in new relationships with new encounters.

It’s hard to let go of people because we don’t want it to all just be wasted time.

Although it may feel like all of it was wasted time, that “wasted time” can help you to become a stronger person and help you to learn what you really want and deserve for yourself. It teaches you the kind of guy or girl you need to be with or the friends you need to surround yourself with. Not someone who couldn’t be counted on, flirted with other people, broke your trust, and simply didn’t make you happy, but someone you can depend on, is loyal, honest, and who brings you true joy. It’s what you deserve, and no person should make you believe otherwise.

It’s not wasted time when we are made better because of it.

The past is in the past, so all we can do is move forward and be mindful of the people we allow into our lives.

It may not even be the person that you can’t let go of, but the happy memories you shared and feelings that you felt when you were with that person that are difficult to push away. The harsh reality is that we can’t resurrect the past, but we can look forward to the future and what it has to offer. Sadly, the past isn’t like Jesus and can’t be resurrected from the grave, but what can be resurrected is the hope and happiness we feel when we wake up and realize that we are surrounded by people in our present that love us, and to stop worrying about the people that have come and gone in our lives that don’t.

A huge reason, that seems to never be talked about, is that it may be hard to move on because we don’t want to face our damaged ego. Sometimes we can’t accept that our judgment of the other person’s character was wrong. Our ego feels injured, and we try to mend it by constantly replaying the past in our head to see where we went wrong. We can bitterly play the scenes of our past over and over again, but what we fail to realize is there’s no going back. We can’t fret over things we have no control over. So what, that person isn’t going to change for the better, lost feelings, moved away, or found someone else; we are torturing ourselves by not pushing the past behind us and striving toward a better future. This sounds like the words of a politician, but it’s so true.

We don’t know what truly amazing opportunities the future has in store for us and how the events from our past will teach us to deal with situations we will face in the future.

So if you’re battling with moving on from a past relationship, toxic friendship, or whatever it may be, know that you are the only person that has control of your future. Only you can guide your life in the direction of past heartbreak, or new and better relationships that bring you the joy and happiness you are oh so deserving of.