We've all been there: it's 2 a.m., you have a paper/exam/assignment due in six hours and you're huddled in the library desperately trying to finish it. The darkness is approaching, you feel death looming over your shoulder...
And then you get coffee.
Usually starting sometime in high school, we all eventually arrive at the same point: a full-blown coffee addiction.
Step 1: Hot Chocolate
Similar to the days pretending to smoke using our pencils, every child has at one point gotten a hot chocolate and pretended it was coffee. And while–hopefully–we haven't all grown up to become smokers, all college students have definitely come to understand the need for a hot cup of coffee.
Step 2: Mocha Frappuccino
Admittedly, I still love a good mocha frapp in the heat of the summer. After hot chocolate, this is inevitably the next step in the chain of coffee development. A little energy boost, but basically just a milkshake that you won't be judged for drinking at 8 a.m.
Step 3: Mocha
Only slightly less sweet, plus a little kick of espresso. Not to mention you can pass it off as a "real coffee" if, like me, you wanted to be an edgy, artistic type in high school. No? Okay.
Step 4: Flavored Latte
Vanilla hazelnut lattes are a new level of yummy. Creamy, delicious, and plenty of energy to keep you moving for the day, lattes are a high school junior's best friend when it comes to AP exam season.
Step 5: Lattes with Hella Sugar
Okay, it's time to be honest: coffee is not good unless it's doused with cream and sugar. I've taken my fair share of espresso shots, but just like vodka shots, we don't drink them for the taste. Think of sugar as the chaser: coffee to stay awake, and a spoonful (or five) to make the medicine go down.
Step 6: Americano
Not delicious until you've hit high levels of exhaustion, but definitely effective. I discovered americanos during my first finals week of college when I was frantically cramming for my Arabic final. It didn't make the cramming any easier, but at least I was conscious.
Step 7: Espresso
Not for the faint of heart, but when you've been awake for 24 hours and there's no hope in sight, sometimes you've got to bite the bullet. Trust me, it might not be the sweetness of hot chocolate, or the deliciousness of a vanilla latte, but one shot of espresso will keep your head off the pillow for long enough to finish that last page of your paper, attempt to blot the tears off of your laptop keyboard, and go the hell to sleep.
Sure, in middle school we all thought coffee was disgusting and didn't understand why our parents chugged it every morning like their last breathe depended on it. We got a little older, however, and realized that there was a certain coolness attached to coffee, probably from our insatiable need to grow up too fast. So we had hot chocolate, pretending it was coffee. Then we hit college, and discovered that our parents were right: sometimes it feels like our last breath does depend on a shot of espresso straight to the heart. Looking back, sometimes I wish I was still young enough to get by without a daily cup (or three) of coffee. Then I wake up the next morning and remember that if I'm going to wake up for that 9 a.m. class, there's no way I can do that without an intravenous line of espresso.