Disclaimer: It is not my intention to bash on anyone's mental health journey. Everyone is different and anyone who is suffering I encourage to seek help. However, I did see an article online recently that I thought brought out some very negative stigmas on mental health issues and I do not think that it is something that accurately represents how most people with these issues feel.
Being in a relationship with someone with mental health issues can be tough, yes. It can be draining. Sometimes, you may not like it. Sometimes, you may want to leave. The thing about being in a relationship with someone with a mental illness, or being in a relationship with anyone, is that you are allowed to leave.
Let me repeat this, you are allowed to leave.
It will hurt the person. They may react negatively. They may get incredibly upset and lash out. They may do absolutely nothing and pretend like everything is fine. I can promise you one thing though, there is nothing on this earth that is better than a depressed person than getting out of a relationship with someone who does not want to be with them.
In the article, the author said, "I am the depressed partner. I will always be that depressed partner and leaving me will make it worse."
There is a very negative stigma online in which people think that people with mental illness will use their illness against others in order to get them to stay. This statement amplifies that stigma and just makes people fearful of entering into a relationship with someone who may have depression, anxiety, or any other illness. Also, by saying that she will "always" be the depressed partner is feeding into another stigma that someone who is depressed will always be that way. This isn't true. In fact, 60-70% of people with depression recover within 3-6 weeks when given an antidepressant. Over 80% of people can recover from different types of psychotherapy. You do not have to be that partner that is "always depressed."
There are ways to get better.
This is not intended to be written to tell people to leave if their significant other is going through mental health issues. You can leave, but if you really love the person I hope that you stay. If you do not love the person, I hope that you leave because I can promise you they will be better off without you. Someone once said to me, "Stop thinking about your mental health as something that is wrong with you. Start thinking about it as like a kidney infection. When you get a kidney infection, you go to the doctor. Your brain is sick right now, go to the doctor."
Therapy changed me.
I do not judge people anymore.
I have found a love for realizing that all people on this earth are so unique and that everyone deals with things differently than others.
Worries that I once thought would control me do not control me anymore. There are times that I still struggle, but I typically am able to get over it very quickly. I found the happiness that I had not felt in over a year and a half.
It breaks my heart that people look at people with mental illness as people who are weak when they are so strong. It takes so much for someone to admit that something with them. It takes a lot to open up to a therapist. Therapy is not easy, but it is so worth it. The results of therapy and mental illness treatment are beautiful. People who go through issues like this typically can be more understanding of issues that go on around them that other people are so mean about. After therapy, they can be so passionate and caring towards other people. A lot of them move on to help other people through issues that they are going through. Too many times they are judged while they are in the worst part of their illness, but when they get better people do not realize it.
You don't have to stay with someone who is going through mental health issues.
If you love them, I hope that you do, because once the issues become their strengths they will truly be the most amazing partners out there.
If you are struggling and need help I highly encourage to reach out to someone you love and seek proper treatment. I recommend someone who specializes in IFS therapy because that is the type that changed my life.