We’ve all got exes. Unless you’re one of those people who marries the first person you date, or maybe you stay single forever, you’re certainly going to accumulate a few exes. And that’s okay! In fact, it’s a huge part of life.

Going through a break up is one of the biggest things that helps people figure out more about themselves. Break ups can be devastating, no matter what the circumstance. Especially in the new age of social media. It’s impossible not to be tempted to check up on your former partner’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or if you’re anything like me, their LinkedIn. Seeing a new username liking their posts can feel like a knife in the chest.

We have the tendency to misconstrue the simplest of things, and overthink ourselves into insanity imagining all sorts of scenarios. We create storylines in our head instead of just asking what the deal with something is. We don’t want to text them or call them, for fear of rejection or seeming crazy and clingy. But, why does it have to be like that? Why can’t two people who were once so important to each other just treat each other like real people? If you want to know how their day was, just ask them!!!! If something funny happens and you want to tell them, why shouldn’t you? Maybe you had a bad day and they’re the only person you want to talk to.

There’s no reason why you should feel unable to talk to an ex just because they’ve left the previous role they held in your life. Of course, you may not want to talk to them. And that’s okay too. However, even if you don’t want to talk, your ex might. You owe them the courtesy of letting them know you just don’t want to talk so they aren’t left wondering if they did something wrong or left compulsively checking their phone. One of the hardest parts of a break up is going from talking to someone all the time to not at all. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Sure, you might not talk about the same things as before or as often, but it will make the healing process a little bit easier by removing the mystery of what they’re doing. There’s no need to treat your ex like a stranger. MAKE THE FRIEND ZONE GREAT AGAIN!