I'm Looking Into Out-Of-State Colleges, But Not Because I Want To Get Away

I'm Looking Into Out-Of-State Colleges, But Not Because I Want To Get Away

I'm not running away and I don't want to leave my family... But I need to go.
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When people hear that I want to go to a college 1,500 miles away from home, they give me the wildest looks. Most of the time, it's followed by a comment about how much debt I'm going to be in and how naive I am being for thinking that it's possible.

With comments like that, I can only imagine what they think of me.

Most people assume that since I am looking into colleges so far from home I'm running away from something or that I don't love my family and I don't want to stay near them. Well, you know what they say about assuming. It makes an...well, nevermind, my mother raised me to not say those types of things.

Let me refute both of those statements.

First of all, I am not running away from anything. Second of all, don't ever say that I don't love my family. I may not always agree with them, and we may bump heads, but I'd give my life for anyone of my family members. I love them to death.

To be quite honest with you, I have never wanted to go to college. It was not something I felt to be necessary seeing as neither of my parents went, and they both turned out perfectly fine. I wanted to be done with school as soon as I could, and college just seemed to postpone that for me.

A few months ago, though, I was praying for my future, getting serious. Graduation is so soon, I figured it was time I figured out a plan on what to do. I was praying and praying and seeking the Lord for an answer on what He wanted me to do when I felt something laid on my heart.

Southeastern University.

I had seen them at plenty of conferences opening up their Ohio branch near me, but I never had any interest in them. But now God was laying their Florida home campus on my heart.

It didn't make any sense. I had just gotten dumped, and a few short weeks later God was telling me this. I wanted to be sure that it wasn't myself wanting to get away from everything and start over.

To be honest, at first, I was sure that was it. Florida was far away, and college had never been my goal. But I prayed on it. And I prayed on it. And I prayed on it. Weeks went by, and then a few more, and then a couple of months had passed.

I've had a few confirmations from the Lord, too. One Wednesday night service I was praying about this to see if it was just my own feelings or if it was really God, and I remember hearing Him, "You'll go."

You see, not every time I get confirmation can I hear God. But I can feel Him stirring in my heart. I know where He's leading me because I trust in Him. A lot of people don't get that.

My mom asked me the other day, "What--God is calling you away from your family and everything you know here?" and I have no other answer but...well, yeah. It's weird, I know, but I don't think that I can fully grow and be the person that God wants me to be unless I go.

It's like there is something there that I need to experience and see in a new light to be who He wants me to be. I can't explain it better than that. Call me naive or stupid. All I know is what I keep getting every time I pray about this.

I am a very anxious person. I get anxiety over things that I shouldn't, like getting a shot at the doctor's or talking to a sales clerk or even ordering food. I don't like to go to new places alone unless I have someone that I know and am comfortable with there with me so I'm not the weirdo alone.

That being said, ever since God has placed SEU Florida on my heart, I have never had one ounce of anxiety over this. In fact, I feel more excited than anything. I am excited to see what God is going to do. I know it may hit me if I get there, but I am not scared to be alone there.

I do not want to leave my family. I love my mom and being 1,500 miles away from her is going to be the hardest thing ever. I'm probably going to cry...a lot. I have really, really good friends here that I am going to miss like crazy when I can't see them two plus times a week.

But if this is where God is leading me, this is where I have to go.

I'm not worried about finances--I know He will provide. I have laid this in His hands and I trust in God's Plan. He will open whatever doors I am meant to walk through.

Please don't assume that just because I'm looking at colleges out of state means that I want to leave my family and forget my life here because that is not even close to the truth. But I will be obedient to the Lord, even if that takes me somewhere out of my comfort zone.

Cover Image Credit: Victoria Heath on Unsplash

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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Don't Be Afraid of Changing Your College Plan

It really isn't THAT bad...

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I can't claim to have any deep wisdom on life, but I at least have some good experience with a highly turbulent college career. I started as a game design major in a tech college in Rochester, NY, transferred to a college in Texas, and now I'm an English major at CofC.

My college life has been something of a roller coaster.

But I regret none of it. Maybe it would have been easier to stick to the track I was on initially, but I would never have been fully satisfied with it. Now I've finally found my place and, even though it may have taken a lot of shifting around, it was undoubtedly worthwhile.

I don't mean to say that everyone who is slightly dissatisfied with their major should transfer all over the country and change their major(I had to sacrifice the ability to get a minor because of the path I took, so I wouldn't recommend it to most people). I just believe that if you find yourself not liking the classes that are vital to your major or if you can't find a place at your current college, then changing your major or transferring isn't as horrible as you might imagine.

When I started college I was completely confident in what I wanted to do and what my future would look like. I thought it would be ridiculous for someone to stray from their initial path. That idea led to me deciding to transfer later than was smart.

I think everyone should know that having to change your plans for the future, sometimes in dramatic ways, isn't a bad thing. No matter how scary transferring and changing majors can seem, many people have done it before you and many will after, you aren't alone.

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