For years, October has been covered in pink to support breast cancer awareness, even by the NFL. But a lesser known fact about October is that it is also Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness Month. The reason for this month is because not many people realize that one in three women and one in four men experience some form of dometic violence in their lifetime. Many folks associate domestic violence with big-name events like Ray Rice assaulting his then-fiancé in an elevator or movies such as "Enough." But these are extreme examples and the reality of domestic violence is that it is not always as physically violent or obvious if you do not look deep enough. There are six main types of abuse most commonly identified and they are: physical, mental/emotional/verbal, sexual, financial, stalking, and spiritual.

1. Physical.

This is the kind most often televised or advertised in other forms of media (ex: newspaper). Physical violence includes hitting, kicking, punching, slapping, shoving, or other physically damaging acts such as stabbing. It is estimated that 20 people experience physical violence every minute in the United States. Yes, every minute.

2. Mental/Emotional/Verbal.

As a Domestic and Sexual Violence Clinician, I have facilitated domestic violence support groups a number of times. I always begin and end the DV group with a continuum exercise where the participants put a list of examples of abuse in order from least abusive to most abusive. Every time I have done this exercise, the first night of group they rank things like "The Look" and "mind games" closer to the least abusive side. But by the end of the eight weeks when we do the activity again, those two particular examples move up the ranks to most abusive. The most common reasoning participants tend to give is that physical wounds heal pretty quickly, but healing from all the name-calling and mind games that make them feel "crazy" takes much much longer. In my work, I have found this type of abuse is often the first tactic. Because let's be real, nobody would go on a second date with someone who introduced themselves and then got punched in the eye. Rather, it often starts with those feelings of intensity, like saying "I love you" within weeks and isolating their partner from friends and family. It all seems fine at the time until after the fact.

3. Sexual.

Between 40 and 45 percent of women in abusive relationships experience sexual violence within it. It is another factor to intimidate and maintain some sense of control by the perpetrator.

4. Financial.

There are many different variations of financial abuse. It can be directly related to work, such as harassing phone calls and/or unannounced visits at work, demands to quit job, or preventing the victim from getting a job. Financial abuse can also include debt such as obtaining credit cards or loans and not paying them, forcing into shared bank accounts and not paying bills, refinancing mortgages or other loans without the victim's knowledge, etc. And finally, it can also include assets such as a house. Sometimes abusers will manipulate the victim to remove their name from the house, bank accounts, cars, etc.

5. Stalking.

Stalking can be very very difficult to prove in a court case. But studies show 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men in the United States have been stalked in their lifetime. It is often just a piece of the abuse in a relationship, so it is important to know there are probably many more layers involved.

6. Spiritual.

This is when one partner may ridicule or belittle another's spiritual beliefs or practices, use spirituality to manipulate or shame them, force their children into one particular spirituality or religion, or even justify their abusive behavior using religious text. The most frequently used bible verse I have seen in my work is from Ephesians 5:22 - "wives submit to your husbands...".

With October now in full swing, I invite you to wear purple, which is the DV Awareness Ribbon color. Together, we can reduce the stigmatism of this horrible trauma.