I'm Spring Cleaning My Life

I'm Spring Cleaning My Life, And I'm Sorry To Say, That Starts With My Toxic Parents

She won't change, and I know she never will, so I have to.

53
views

On top of spring cleaning our wardrobes of crop tops we regret buying and wearing in bulk, I also spring clean my life of people who have proven themselves time and time again to be hindrances to my self-development and progress. And as I sort through this pile of people, I always encounter, without fail, my parents. And I sigh and put them back in my metaphorical closet knowing all too well that I can't send to the goodwill of toxic people.

Even though my mother has repeatedly proven herself to be the number one biggest trigger for my eating disorder. Or that my father's condescending behavior triggers anxiety. It doesn't matter, they are my parents and I am never getting rid of them. That isn't a statement of love, but rather of surrender and defeat. They pay for college, the roof above my head, and anything I want. They have basically bought property in my conscious which is why I can't throw them away that easily. I am financially and emotionally attached to them, depending on how life and career pans out, potentially forever.

So every time my mom tells me I look fat or tells me I can't have dinner, I know that instead of just counting out my mother, I have to stop the emotional explosion within myself that leads to me bingeing in the middle of the night. That is obviously easier said than done. But often I have negotiated, explained, and even yelled for my mother to understand that calling me names or restricting my meals does nothing but make me more susceptible to the voice in my head that tells me to binge. But she won't change, and I know she never will, so I have to.

Some days, I do wish I wasn't in need of their financial support so I could have the power and independence to walk away and not look back. It would be the most healthy outcome and I could probably live a much more stable and mentally healthy life. But I guess I don't have the confidence to succeed alone, which is why I have decided to stay put and just adjust.

Popular Right Now

The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
94206
views

When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
778
views

Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

Related Content

Facebook Comments