As I sat down in a coffee shop this morning to work on an English paper, I looked up from my computer screen for a moment and took in the scene. I was sitting in the corner of the room, by myself. I couldn’t help but notice that I was one of the only ones in the coffee shop that was alone. The second I realized this, my human self-consciousness kicked in and I started to think about what other people may be speculating about me since I was not surrounded by a laughing group of friends.

The social nature of the world has begun to categorize being alone as negative. If I am alone in a public space, sometimes I find myself feeling as though I need to be either on my phone, or looking busy. The fear of being completely alone and without an agenda can come off as daunting. But I quickly pushed this insecure feeling out of my head, and remembered that I like to be alone sometimes, and that the significance of what people are thinking of me is too miniscule to waste time thinking about.

I believe that alone time is crucial for everyone. When you are alone with your thoughts, and free of distractions, you can have some of your most creative moments. Being alone allows you to recharge, and take a deep breath. Doing things on your own can lead you towards meeting new people and clearing your mind. You get to know yourself better without the influence of other people constantly around you. When you’re alone you can escape from the desire to have constant validation from others. It is great to learn from the people you surround yourself with, but you have to make sure that you aren’t forgetting about who you are. Taking time to reevaluate your opinions and appreciate what you believe in is a healthy habit to be in.

But feeling comfortable while being alone is something that we learn.

Before this comfort can develop, a sense of confidence and independence must also be built. As a freshman in college, I have noticed that there is a huge desire among students to appear social. There seems to be a stigma that revolves around aloneness, which implies that being alone is not voluntary. The phrase “you complete me” is tossed around every once in a while, and whether it is said with humor or sincerity, this statement leaves me feeling a bit empty. If you need someone to complete you, are you not good enough on your own?

I believe that once you have found yourself, gotten to know yourself, and spent enough time alone so that you have a sense of independence and confidence, you can then truly start to appreciate the company of others. Finding your independence and knowing yourself are what will lead you in life. So take advantage of your alone time, it will benefit you more than you know!