Hey there,

I thought I had met all the people who are meant to be in my life. Then you came along. It's as if God knew we needed each other. It all started because you showed me a song that I had on repeat for days on end. Still to this day, I'll listen to it and think of how it brought me such an important part of my life. From performing photosynthesis, to celebrating our 21st birthdays two weeks in a row because our birthdays are back to back, to just being able to look each other in the eye and know exactly whats wrong. You're me in another persons body. I don't think anyone else understands our dark sense of humor or our stupid remarks but us. Some people think we're on some type of drugs most of the time because we're always laughing and messing around. But if they only knew what dark creatures peak out at the most inconvenient times.

I met you when we both needed someone like each other the most. We've been through similar situations and feel the same weight in our chest when we can't pinpoint what's wrong. When you hurt, I hurt. When you cry, I cry. When you're happy, oh my goodness, that makes me extremely happy. It breaks my heart to hear you hurting so profoundly. You helped me through my dark times and were able to pull me out of my darkness even when it begins to creep in. I wish I could have done the same when your darkness started to hinder the happy girl you are. If I could take your pain and feel it ten times worse just so you don't feel it, trust me I would take that in a heartbeat. I know you feel nothing. You thirst to feel something. I know you continue to distract yourself because you don't want to feel this emptiness inside you but just know that you have such a huge support system. We say that a lot, we know, but it's true. This world isn't the same without you. Even though at times, you get a tad bit odd (and I'm being nice when I say a tad) we still love you the same.

I hope one day you find someone who sees through the facade and finds that heart that's been tossed around. I hope that one day you wake up in the morning, knowing that if you were able to get through this place in your life, my dear, you are able to overcome anything. You've dealt with so much in the past and although that's helped you grow, nothing compares to now and what's going on. When the heaviness of your chest rises and you begin to feel alive again, I will be right by your side. Every day that goes by and you still attempt to be the person that other people think you are it's only making you weaker. I understand that you don't like to seem weak or vulnerable, because that's not you at all. The longer you put up this facade, you're only making your heart ache more. Like you told me, "It gets better, obviously not now, not tomorrow, not next week, but this pain won't last forever."

Remember, Mercedes will not be in Gatorade forever

-Sam