Freshman year of college: I was basically a hermit. I left my room solely for class and dinner, if at all, I spent more time complaining about not having friends into my textbooks than making attempts to carve my own spot in the world, and I was genuinely unhappy. My efforts went into keeping my grades stabilized and tricking myself that I was happy, when in reality I wasn't happy at all. Looking back, the amount of time I spent taking naps during the day wasn't the product of the wear of the day, but was a coping mechanism because I was so drained from unhappiness.

Looking back at the beginning of my sophomore year, I was ready to make changes. I was ready to take college into my own hands and become happier.

It's been a long road on the way to where I am now - there were bumps, times I was ready to give up, lie down and stare at my wall until the world stopped spinning, because that would be easier than face reality. But, months have passed and I do feel happier.

What's changed between this year and the last?

I learned who is really there for me, and who is there only for their own benefit. There are signs of a true friend, when I feel secure that someone will have my back in the same way that I will have their's, and there are signs when someone truly doesn't care about me. I've learned to tell the difference.

I learned that I'm tired of being a doormat, and that I'm done allowing others to step on me, and I'm tired of those who feel entitled to do so.

I learned that I'm tired of the petty back-stabbing culture that so many people are a part of. Why be toxic when I put my efforts elsewhere for good?

But I also learned to embrace who I am. I shouldn't be scared of being left in the cold and ignored by people that mean so little to me in the long run. I'm tired of playing along in crowds that I know would never accept me for who I really am. Anyone who makes me feel like I have to hold back the thoughts that run through my head and hide a part of myself do not care about me, and I'm probably better of without them.

I wish I could make everyone happy, that I could juggle the feelings of everyone in the room while also feeling happy within my own right, but I learned that it's impossible. There will always be someone who I will never be able to please, and I'm done trying to do so.

Most importantly, I learned that it's okay to care about myself sometimes. There are going to be days where I need to take a step back from the constant academic and social pressure to step back and breathe. I'm a perfectionist, but not everything can go right as I want it to, no matter how hard I try, so sometimes I need time for myself to recollect, reevaluate, and start over.

I'm stronger and happier for the things I've learned during my sophomore year, and I look forward to the next step, because I feel all the more prepared for any obstacles that might come into my way.