It's sophomore year of college, and by now you're supposed to have it all figured out. Freshman year you are allowed to freak out, to not know what the hell you're doing, and be struggling. Freshman year it's acceptable to be homesick, to feel like you have no friends, or be second-guessing your major. But nope, by sophomore year you're supposed to have it all together.
I think I would be lying if I didn't admit that I think my sophomore year has been much more difficult for me than my freshman year. Freshman year I seriously peaked. I was so happy with my friends, the activities I was involved in, my coursework, was literally never homesick and just overall felt like I had found a place here in college. Every time I would come home for break, I was absolutely miserable and counted down the days until I would be back at school. And I only thought that things would get better because I could not imagine a life where I wasn't obsessed with everything about college.
Unfortunately, things have not been so easy here. I am not saying that I am 100% unhappy at school, because that is surely not the case. But the novelty and excitement of freshman year has surely died down. First semester, I was feeling this difference immensely. And the more I tried to tell the feeling to go away, the worse it got.
For the longest time, I could not validate how I was feeling. I felt like I had to put on a front and pretend that things were okay when in reality they weren't. I remember calling my mom in tears so many times last semester because I just felt as though I couldn't get out of this negative headspace. The craziest part is that she then reminded me of a similar experience she had in college. As much as my mom is the first to say that college was by far the best time of her life and she loved every moment at The University of Kansas, she wasn't always 100% happy. In fact, her sophomore year of college she was so close to transferring back home, but luckily changed her mind. This reassured me that not only what I was feeling was understandable, but also more importantly that the feeling would pass eventually.
But I realized that I wasn't alone. After finally opening up to my friends about it, I realized that the "sophomore slump" is actually a pretty common feeling, which gave me the reassurance that I would be able to overcome it and that I wasn't crazy for feeling this way. Yes, college is amazing. But, it's also hard. Like super hard. Between the academics, extracurriculars, dealing with friends, and just the fact that you are living away from home for the first time, you can't expect that things are always going to be perfect. You're going to make mistakes, you're going to struggle, but you will learn so much about yourself that you never thought existed.
Moments are tough. When you are in a situation that you feel as though you f**cked up big time or are just stressed out for no reason, you kind of feel like it's the end of the world and you'll never get through it. But the crazy thing about college is how much time passes and how much happens in that time. I always like to say that a day in college is like a week anywhere else. You may think something was the absolute biggest deal at the time, and maybe it was, but it will literally be history before you know it. So just relax, take a deep breath, and try not to overthink everything. This is definitely the biggest piece of advice that I have to remember for myself, as I struggle with this on a daily basis and is probably one of the main reasons as to why I am still in this so-called "sophomore slump."
One of the things that I am trying to remember myself is that every day is not going to be the best day of my life, and that is more than okay. For the longest time, I was so hard on myself for not being happy. I thought that if I wasn't in class, studying/doing homework, or sleeping, I had to be spending time with friends. However, I realize now that is actually ridiculous. In fact, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have some alone time. Because let's face it, when you live in a house with 80 girls, that time is rare and precious.
I still may be somewhat struggling through the "sophomore slump," but I know that there are good things ahead for me. Sure, every day may not be perfect, but I know that I have the support that will help me get through it. As I finish up my sophomore year (and can officially say that I am halfway done with college like seriously what), I am going to challenge myself to think more positively about the things that happen to me and remember what I can potentially learn from it. "Sophomore slump," I have never been more ready to get over ya' and can't wait to show you what I'm made of.