Ew. Chris had never liked the smell of cigarette smoke, but when it was on her breath, she’d have rather downed a shot of mustard. She could practically feel the nicotine sticking to the sides of her lungs, and it felt dirty. Whenever someone had been smoking near her, she’d always waited to inhale until she was already far away.

“Well?”

“Yeah, I totally see why you do this.” She rolled her eyes and flicked the mostly intact cigarette into the dirt.

“Hey, whoa, whoa!” Nathan yelled, nearly having a heart attack. He’d have punched her if she weren’t a girl. And his best friend.

And his only means of passing History 101, Chris thought to herself, a half-smile on her face.

“You practically just threw away the whole thing,” he said, slowly easing himself back to his leaning position against the brick wall.

“Ugh, you’re right...” Chris said apologetically. She walked forward and proceeded to stomp on the cigarette until it was covered in a thick coat of dirt. Stepping back a foot, she nodded in approval and resumed her place next to her best friend. “Better?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Very mature,” Nathan added, trying desperately to stifle a laugh. His jet-black hair fell over his eyes as he blew a puff of smoke, his eyes far away and squinting at the ground.

Chris stood up and began to lazily walk around, kicking a stray rock on the ground with the tip of her shoe. She couldn’t help replaying Doctor Paoli’s words from the same afternoon over and over again in her head.

Depression. That was the one that stood out to her the most. Chris had thought from the beginning that Doctor Paoli wouldn’t be able to tell a sociopath and a flu patient apart. Her aunt thought differently, though. She believed that as long as Chris’s personality fit into a category, Chris would be okay. Dr. Paoli was one of those people that liked to finish Chris’s sentences with one of her own “revelations”, even if it was completely off. Chris often thought that Dr. Paoli would have been into chain-smoking if she weren’t a psychologist. Even Nathan wasn’t that bad.

“So, you know I have that exam tomorrow,” Nathan said, taking a drag mid-sentence, “and I might need your help.”

“’Might’?” Chris shot Nathan a sideways glance.

“Okay, I’m completely lost.” He sighed, letting the back of his head hit the wall.

“Does tonight at seven work?” Chris asked, standing next to him and letting herself relax.

“Remember who you’re talking to,” Nathan laughed. “Did you forget that I have absolutely no life?”

“You make it pretty impossible, I’ll give you that.” Chris noticed Nathan staring off into space, completely missing an opportunity to insult her back.

“Hey, what’s up?” Chris jabbed him in the side with her elbow. She wasn’t exactly the weakest girl, but something about Nathan just seemed so fragile sometimes.

“I dunno,” he sighed.

“C’mon, Nate. Just tell me.”

“No, that’s what’s wrong.” He rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt, sweating despite the colder weather. “I don’t know, and that’s my problem.”

“Well, what don’t you know?”

“I just… I have a really bad feeling.” Nathan looked down at the ground, wedging the toe of his sneaker into the dirt.

“Nathan, what are you talking about?” Chris asked in confusion. She noticed that Nathan looked different today. Something was definitely off, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. Even the way his eyes darkened every so often when he would talk, or how his voice would become suddenly quiet.

“Please talk to me,” she urged him.

His eyes slowly travelled from the ground to hers, coldly gripping her stare in his own. Clearly, but with a sort of delay, he spoke.

“I’m dead.”

Chris was alone. Standing completely by herself, Nathan’s being slipping entirely from her mind. It was a cruel joke he was playing, no doubt about it. He would never stay, she realized. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

Only when she stood at that spot... the spot where they had spoken together for the very last time, would she remember that he had ever existed. She could not even remember how long it had been since he had been killed... and no one had ever known why. It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth, to Chris and to everyone around her. Was he a dream, she wondered?

No. He was not. It felt as real as ever. She felt his piercing stare just as intensely each time he came to visit her. Chris... she could hear him calling her name.

She flicked away the butt of her cigarette, pushing it into the dirt with her foot.

As every time, she had still never once bought a pack of cigarettes in her life.