To someone I used to love,

At one point in my life, I thought that I loved the greatest person that I'd ever know. I was taught not only how to love, but how to find myself when I was all out of sorts. If my parents, my friends, or even my school was getting a little rough, my past love was there. My past love was a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold. Every time I think of my past love, I think of the person hugging their mom for comfort. I don't think of that awful fight we had, when were screaming our heads off at each other. I don't think of the time that I ended up walking away crying.

When I think of my past love, I think of the long roadside conversations we would have. We talked about everything in that old beat up jeep that had nothing besides a few stations to listen to, but I always found a way to find at least one song that I knew.

We sat there and laughed for hours. I wouldn't want to move from the passenger seat and I never got pushed to leave. I loved just sitting there and I wished it could have stayed like that forever. Knowing how we are, we fought and we disagreed. We made "us" more and more complicated. More and more people got involved, to the point that we didn't recognize ourselves anymore. The people we once were vanished.

I don't regret anything. I wish I could've been there more. I remember always getting told that I was special because we always found our way back to each other, even if we did move on.

Loving another will be difficult. But I was taught how to love, and I recognize this experience for it. My big heart was grew, but I was also taught how to protect it. My past love was the feeling of protection.

At one point in my life, my past love was the only reason I got out of bed in the morning. If I got to see them for at least one hour, it put a smile on my face that would last the rest of the day. One afternoon, I came over and I was overwhelmed with homework. I just found a comfy spot on the couch and frantically started writhing. My past love was patiently sitting there and waited until I was completely done. It made me see the patient side.

Little things made me fall hard. The way my past love's hair looked after a nap. The way my past love always remembered my order to my favorite restaurants. After almost every fight, reaching out and apologizing was my past love's first instinct.

My character and my self-confidence was immensely improved. I didn't want to put myself first when we were together. My concerns were only about us and I was happy with that. I hope that I made my past love happy. I hope that even after these three years, I made an impression on my past love's character. I hope that when my past love finally loves again, they think of me.