"In order to find love, you must first love yourself." I see this quote everywhere, and I'm here to tell you why this is not only ridiculous but toxic. Receiving love has nothing to do with how you view yourself. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't love yourself. I'm just here to say that someone else can love you even when you don't.

Loving one's self is a constant battle for a good bit of people. Society is constantly reminding us that we don't have the right hair or clothes or body shape. It may seem like you're never good enough for yourself, much less anyone else, but that's so wrong. You may not like your laugh or the way your hair falls around your face or the way your body looks, but I'm here to tell you that this doesn't mean someone else won't.

Telling someone who is already insecure that no one will love them unless they love themselves first is toxic. This plants the idea in their mind that maybe no one will ever love them because they don't ever see them loving themselves, at least not anytime soon. When you tell someone this, it often only makes their road to loving who they are that much more difficult. This phrase adds one more negative thing to the long list of negative things they think of themselves.

Not only is it toxic, but this idea is ridiculous. They way we view ourselves does not compare to the way everyone around us views us. Personally, I think my laugh is utterly obnoxious, but I've been told countless times how much people love the sound of it. The thing is, is when someone falls in love with you, they don't see all of the ugly things you feel. To them they see a beautiful, funny, kind person. I know I've loved things about people that they hated about themselves and it did not make me stop loving them. If anything, it made me want to give them more love.

People who have self-esteem issues need love, not because they need some sort of validation, but so they know it is possibly for someone like them to be loved. No one wants to go through this world alone and making someone seem like they are unlovable is not OK. Giving someone love and attention can in return help them love who they are. They can begin to see themselves through your eyes and understand that there is more to them than what the voices in their head tell them.

I am by no means saying people shouldn't work on loving themselves, because everyone should. Loving yourself is a great thing, but it's not a requirement for someone to love you. If anyone has or does tell you otherwise, please do not listen to them. You are amazing, wonderful, and you are lovable.