As promised, this section is on swear words. I’ve had this idea in my mind for a long time; ever since I first learned about sociolinguistics and the beauty of every language and word, the concept of swear words confused me. Why were some words seen as off-limits? Why would you want to shield young children from certain words?

My first thought was that words all carry different meaning--and the all carry a different weight of each meaning. In theory, you’d want young children to avoid words with vulgar meanings. So why is the “s-word,” or “shit,” so much worse than saying the word “poop” as a kid? Don’t they communicate the same literal meaning? After all, they both refer to that gross lump of waste in the toilet, right?

I decided to ask my friends on this one. First, I sent a text message in a group chat that contained friends from my last church retreat. Without going into my personal take on religion, I asked why swear words are bad. One of my friends--let’s just call her W--responded right away. W is always my go-to gal when I have a question about religion, so I wanted to hear this linguistic issue from a Christian point of view.

W said that we were made to worship the Lord with our words, so I asked why a few specific words are bad. Who chose which words to deem tainted and unholy? W responded wisely, yet again. She said that the swear words we know (“ass,” “bitch,” “cunt,” “damn,” “fuck,” “shit,” etc.) all carry a certain weight of sin with them. More specifically, W said that these words are normally used in anger, pain, or frustration--all feelings that the Lord advises us against.

So I decided to press further. I think it’s important to note here that no one in this discussion was trying to start an argument; we were merely throwing ideas back and forth to progress in the conversation; it was all in good feeling and intent.

If words used in anger are unholy, I asked, why aren’t words like “bad,” “mean,” or “rude” considered swear words?

W answered that it’s probably the malicious intent behind using words that make them swear words. For example, a person using the word “bitch” is probably using it with a more intense goal or aim than a person using the word “bad.” Yes, there is the argument that certain words are considered swear words only because society deemed them so, but I was convinced there was more to it than just that.

W brought up the fact that, according to the Bible, one should not use God’s name in vain. I, personally, am incredibly guilty of exclaiming the phrase “Oh my God!” whenever agitated or excited. I started to connect the dots in my mind: sometimes, when I would say “Oh my God!” I would feel the more “sinful” emotions, such as frustration or anger. However, I also say “Oh my God!” when I’m happy and excited, so I wasn’t sure how accurate that theory was.

I then brought up the fact that society seemed to have “cushion” words for swearing, such as “Oh my gosh” for “Oh my God,” “shoot” for “shit,” “darn” for “damn,” and more. I questioned the purpose of these cushion words if they conveyed just as much sinful emotion as the swear words themselves. Why are these cushion words okay, even though they have just as much sinful intent and emotion behind them as the swear words they’re trying to avoid?

W said that since humans aren’t perfect, cushion words are just our way to make “semi-swearing” okay. It’s like we feel bad for actually cursing, but we don’t have an outlet for this sinful emotion without letting it out linguistically--so we use cushion words as scapegoats to carry the weight of our feelings without actually swearing.

At this point, the discussion between W and me was getting more theological. She said that when we were all little kids, we had the strongest conscience for non-sinful linguistics. Third grade me thought the word “stupid” was a bad word; now, “stupid” pales in comparison to other “swear words.” W said that this is the best way to define sin: the smallest deviations from holiness. When we’re young, our hearts are the purest they’ll ever be, and the gnawing feeling we get when we do something even a little wrong is the strongest it’ll ever be.

I could totally see where she was coming from, and I began to understand swear words from a religious perspective even more. Still, I wasn’t convinced.

While I was extremely, extremely grateful for a friend as amazing as W--one who would have these deep discussions with me, even if I repeatedly tested her faith like this--I still couldn’t see how swear words should be doomed to this gloomy fate.

Yes, swear words may communicate feelings that aren’t as pretty as society would like, but that’s the beauty of these words: they have the power to communicate raw human emotion like no other word could.

Every word has its domain of weight and meaning, and each emotion deserves to be linguistically described to the best of the word’s ability. I felt like we unfairly labeled certain words in vulgar ways when in reality, all words deserved to be loved and valued equally. Maybe it was just the optimistic linguist in me.

Then again, I don’t agree with the ideology of offensive terms, as I do believe that language should be used for good purposes; a creation so beautiful should not be used to hurt others. In our next section, I’ll be talking about the ugly side of swear words: language that is used to destroy. Stay tuned!