As a kid, I thrived playing outside and staying out past dinner which I later regretted. It seemed to be a much simpler time where I didn't have to worry about what other people thought about me. I was just happy with being who I was and didn't even think twice about how others perceived me.
Fast forward a couple of years. I am now in middle school and social media is starting to make its presence known. Little me wants to fit in, so I start creating accounts and start seeing things I have never seen before. I didn't realize that there were so many things happening that I wasn't invited to. So I started thinking what I needed to change to fit in. Little did I know that I should never think about changing myself to please other people. I was already in an unhealthy mindset just as I hit my teenage years.
Starting high school really started to get me thinking harder about all the wrong things. People started going out and then it would later show up on social media. Meanwhile, I was at home wondering what was wrong with me and why I was never invited to things. And then it started to progress from there. Is it because I wasn't as pretty as the other girls? Is that why no one wanted to hang out with me because I didn't want to go out and party?
I thought that things would get better when I started college. I was free to be whoever I wanted to be and that was a scary thought. But the same thing that happened in high school was repeating itself in college. Why wasn't I getting any likes on my recent Instagram? Why don't I have as many followers as all my other friends?
My self-image has been completely distorted by social media. I tell myself all the time that it doesn't matter, but deep down I don't believe that. This ugly little seed was planted at a young age and it going to take so much work to tear out all of its nasty roots.
I know that I am not a perfect human being. But I am starting to learn to love myself a little more each day. I love social media because I get to connect with so many people but I know that I am more than the likes I get on a picture. My likes don't define me, just like my amount of followers doesn't define me.
Shakey self-confidence can be blown away with the way you perceive your social media. But numbers are just numbers and you are a amazing human being.