Recently my friend was telling me some interesting observations she made regarding social media and confidence. She was questioning if people were actually enjoying social media despite how addicted to it we are. I said that I don't feel a need to be on it constantly but it's usually a positive experience for me. Checking social media is an indulgence and something I consider to be a fun little part of my day.
She said "well, yeah but you're one of the most confident people I know, Grace. Of course, you enjoy it."
This observation really made me think. She's not wrong. Some compare my confidence to that of a drag queen. I am a Leo, after all! As I reflected more, I realized there were plenty of times when my social media made me feel less confident, yet I don't think of it as a negative thing for me. Like most people, I've been instantly upset by pictures of groups of friends I wondered why I never became a part of, or a perfect relationship that I don't have or a thigh gap I will probably never achieve.
So what makes the difference between me seeing that and moving on with my day and someone else becoming depressed by this? How do we balance the inverse relationship of a strong selfie game and weak confidence?
I'm not someone who is obsessed with what people say in the comments or someone who deletes a picture if it doesn't get "enough" likes. I don't look to my social media for validation because I get that validation from my friends and family in real life. I get that validation from myself after a great workout or acing a test.
As someone who is seen as "confident" I want to say that I think people believe that in order to be confident, you, in turn, have to not care what people think. That's not true, you can care, but you have to keep other people's expectations and judgments of you at less of an importance ranking than what you think of yourself. To be fair, confidence is not easy and it requires a lot of self-control. A person you consider to be confident may appear to be footloose and fancy-free, but there isn't a chance that they don't have self-doubts. They just know how to not let those doubts run their lives. When I don't feel confident I don't focus on how to not care about what is making me feel less confident. Caring about things is a part of life. I shift my perspective to things I am proud of or make me feel good about myself. If you can't think of these things, get off Snapchat and start thinking about what makes you awesome and unique because I promise that everyone has these things!
I feel bad for my generation that we have a world of comparison at our fingertips every moment of the day. If you're bored and want to feel bad about yourself it couldn't be easier. I encourage everyone to think about how you use social media and whether or not it's positively impacting your life. No one is forcing you to participate and it might be a good time to take a break and see what life is like without it. Spend less time focusing on your follower-to-following ratio and more time following your dreams! *I know that was cheesy but I needed a good way to wrap this up.