I’ve noticed in my everyday interactions with friends that there are two kinds of people. Those who understand social cues and interactions and those who don’t or they just don’t care. Have you ever had that friend that will cut you off mid-sentence or not expand the circle and so you’re left standing on the outside of the conversation? Yeah, it can be a little frustrating. If you happen to be one of those people, here are some ways to be a more socially aware person.

1. Put your phone down and away

Trust me, the person who is standing right in front of you is more important than your Facebook feed right now. Plus there is something very beautiful about giving someone your undivided attention. The person you’re listening to will come to you more and appreciate you as a friend. If you are just going to sit on your phone the whole time the other person won’t think you aren’t really paying attention and that you don’t care.

2. Lean in and make eye contact

The whole leaning in thing is actually a part of active listening. When you lean in, you actually show the person that you care about what they are saying, and it’s another way of showing your undivided attention.

3. Always look for people sitting by themselves

I remember being a middle school and always sitting by myself and wondering why no one would talk to me. So whenever you see someone sitting by themselves politely strike up a conversation. If they want to be left alone then respect their decision, but if they keep talking to you then hang around for a while and get to know them! They’ll respect you and see how intentional you are.

4. Ask Questions

Whenever you’re in a group of people and you notice someone isn’t speaking just ask them a question about what they think on the subject being discussed and they’ll be forever glad that you gave them the chance to speak up and share their opinion. By the way, since they actually had time to think about their opinion it probably rocks.

5. Try not to keep a tight circle

If you notice someone trying to enter in the conversation, let them! Take a step back and let them join the group. Bonus points if you’re sitting at a table and you offer someone a place to sit and join the group.

6. Have inside jokes, but don't overdo it

I know this one is hard and some of you are probably disagreeing with me on this one. Having inside jokes automatically takes you back to a great memory and they are wonderful, but sometimes, if you constantly overdo an inside joke, people often feel as if they are left out. If you feel comfortable, tell the inside joke and explain it! Again, this is a suggestion, so feel free to use your discretion.

7. Always extend that invitation

Yeah, sometimes plans happen suddenly or we assume since someone heard about the plans they are invited. If someone is new to your group of friends try to personally invite them to come and hang out, if they say yes, awesome, if they don’t, hey at least they felt welcome.

These are a few of my tips to include people and how to be intentional, especially around new people.