Slut Shaming Saves Lives

Slut Shaming Saves Lives

They truly do just have women's best interests in mind.
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It is early May, and, as per Atlanta climate, the weather outside is basically a thousand degrees already. I am walking through the hallways in my school in Nike shorts and a t-shirt, an outfit that is within school dress code (as far as I know) when I hear somebody whispering, "Wow, I can literally see everything. Does she have no self-respect? What a slut."

I pause, and their words echo in my head until I realize that they're talking about me. Oh. I walk into the bathroom and peep my reflection in the mirror, but everything is definitely covered. In fact, I see that I am wearing significantly more clothes than several of the people that I pass. I go on to my next class, and, as I'm sitting there, I continue to think about what they've said.

Well, you CAN see a lot of my legs. When I walk they ride up a little bit more, I guess. And even though you can't see anything besides legs, you CAN see my legs and that IS probably distracting for some people. Tomorrow I'll wear pants; I want to make sure that I am a proper young girl.

The next day, I put on jeans and a snowsuit. I sweat a little bit, but I am not called a slut and I am proud of myself at the end of the day; I am a truly moral girl.

You see, some people might call it "slut shaming" or "giving unsolicited opinions about other people's lives" or "feminine control", but I call it "useful advice". Obviously, it is significantly more important to me what the rest of the world thinks than how I feel. Yes, the weather is warm and men are wearing shorts, but that's because they're men. First of all, they know better than I do anyway because they don't have periods, so I especially don't want to distract them from doing their jobs or getting their education, since they are going to be making more money than me anyway and therefore could better use that knowledge. And besides, my ancestors had to protest for the right to vote. Women are completely legally equal to men everywhere now, so I really have nothing to complain about "inequality", and it's only fair for me to make a tiny sacrifice - some sweat drops here and there - for men to get a good education. I mean, they'd do the same for me, right?

Well, because men in shorts isn't distracting - everybody knows women can't be distracted by that kind of thing since they don't think about sex except to please their man (when he wants it, that is) - I just can't understand how hard it is for men to control themselves around women in shorts. So some nice men make sure to tell me all about it - how, by wearing shorts, I am asking to be raped and showing the world that I am an "easy girl" - are truly just looking out for me. Yes, men and women can wear shorts, but men are so much more wild (how could I say anything about inequality! These men are putting themselves down! How noble!), so it really is in a woman's best interest, if she values her safety and her virginity, to just cover up her damn body. And - even worse - if I happened to wear a tank top AND shorts, I could easily be confused for a prostitute! And the weather-appropriate nature of the outfit is no excuse; everybody knows that heat builds aggression and sexual tension.

No way do I want to have anyone confuse me for a prostitute, especially since any display of sexuality from women makes it extremely difficult for them to get accepted to college or receive a job that wouldn't further sexualize them. Think about all of those examples of girls whose nudes got leaked... most of their lives, ruined! And completely their faults, too - if they hadn't sent those nasty pictures to boys (who are just going to be boys, I'm sure they didn't mean any harm by sending the pictures to all of their friends and posting them on social media. I mean, good for them for even receiving them - what a score!), they would be completely fine right now.

And honestly, I probably shouldn't even have bought these shorts anyway. My money would have been much better spent on long, Victorian dresses that ensure chastity because those are what I need to wear to ensure that men take me seriously, especially since shorts being worn by women began as a part of the feminist movement. I don't want them to think I'm a feminist, because then they think I'm lesbian and/or looking to stir up trouble for social change, two things that are second-and-third on the "unforgivable sins list" right underneath "taking birth control" (because that would be shunning my womanly purpose, to have kids. Plus, everybody knows that once you get on birth control, you have sex with every single person that you see, even if you're not on it to prevent pregnancy).

How hard is it honestly to just sit at home, raise my kids to be good people and work to make my man proud? You better believe that will be me in the future - his goals are my goals. After all, he spends all day at work in loooong meetings with his female secretary to make money for me to live on. And isn't it just the decent thing for me to try to please somebody to whom I've pledged to spend my whole life? Even though I'm in high school now, I know he wouldn't want me to wear shorts because then guys might see me, have sex with me and then I'd be cheating. And since he'd understand how hard it is for those guys to resist, of course that would be my fault. Plus, what if I meet him when I'm wearing shorts and he decides I'm too easy for him and then I never get married? And assume that I've already had sex - even if I haven't - and never marry me because, of course, who wants to marry a girl who isn't a virgin? Who will support me then? What will I do? All because of my stupid, slutty shorts!

So, here's a thank you to everybody who has ever told me to "put on more clothes" or to "cover myself up" or to "have some respect for myself and my body" when I've been wearing a perfectly weather-acceptable, fairly-modest outfit. Thank you to everybody who has reminded rape victims that they were asking for it and that their attack was their fault. Thank you to everybody who has discouraged women from pursuing freedom of reproductive health, freedom of equal pay and freedom of safety. You are all truly keeping people safe and saving lives; God bless.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter: NYC Online Dater

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Ladies, It's Good To Be Honest With The Boy You Like, Please Share Your Feelings

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As girls, we're often told that we need to be chased, and we need to be pursued and that the guy needs to make the first move. And even if we do want to tell someone how we feel, it's terrifying to take that first step because you don't know how they're going to respond. Maybe you'll scare them off, maybe you'll lose their friendship, or everything will be awkward for a year and a century.

Well, it's true — it is terrifying.

But I'm here to tell you that it's OK to be honest, it's OK to be share how you're feeling, it's OK to be bold. Even though it's terrifying.

I recently had the experience of sharing with a boy that I liked him, and let me tell you I was nervous. I literally couldn't sleep and my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I honestly thought I was going to combust. I had no idea how he was going to react, but I knew in my heart (and from the Lord) that I needed to share how I felt. I'm a big fan of honesty. I hate games of trying to figure out how somebody feels and what this or that text means.

So, I took the step and I told him how I felt.

I told him that I sometimes thought of him as more than a friend and that I valued his friendship and just wanted to be honest. I told him that I wasn't expecting anything in return and wasn't trying to overwhelm him. I told him that whatever his response was I could handle it and hoped we both were mature enough to move forward as friends. Yes, I was scared out of my mind... but it went well.

We're still only friends. But I have no regrets.

Because not only does he know how I feel, but I know how he feels. I don't have to constantly stress over what this or that means. And luckily for me, he was a guy who could handle the truth and talk about his feelings.

Ladies, I know it's scary to be so vulnerable and risk getting hurt. But don't be afraid to open your heart. God will open and close the doors and lead you to the right place. All you can do is be yourself and be honest with yourself and the people around you. Maybe it doesn't go well, maybe it all blows up and you're disappointed. Well, then it's time for that door to close. Who wants to be with someone who can't handle an awkward conversation every now and then?

Be honest with the people you care about. Open your heart and take a chance. And give the rest to the Lord.

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