It is early May, and, as per Atlanta climate, the weather outside is basically a thousand degrees already. I am walking through the hallways in my school in Nike shorts and a t-shirt, an outfit that is within school dress code (as far as I know) when I hear somebody whispering, "Wow, I can literally see everything. Does she have no self-respect? What a slut."

I pause, and their words echo in my head until I realize that they're talking about me. Oh. I walk into the bathroom and peep my reflection in the mirror, but everything is definitely covered. In fact, I see that I am wearing significantly more clothes than several of the people that I pass. I go on to my next class, and, as I'm sitting there, I continue to think about what they've said.

Well, you CAN see a lot of my legs. When I walk they ride up a little bit more, I guess. And even though you can't see anything besides legs, you CAN see my legs and that IS probably distracting for some people. Tomorrow I'll wear pants; I want to make sure that I am a proper young girl.

The next day, I put on jeans and a snowsuit. I sweat a little bit, but I am not called a slut and I am proud of myself at the end of the day; I am a truly moral girl.

You see, some people might call it "slut shaming" or "giving unsolicited opinions about other people's lives" or "feminine control", but I call it "useful advice". Obviously, it is significantly more important to me what the rest of the world thinks than how I feel. Yes, the weather is warm and men are wearing shorts, but that's because they're men. First of all, they know better than I do anyway because they don't have periods, so I especially don't want to distract them from doing their jobs or getting their education, since they are going to be making more money than me anyway and therefore could better use that knowledge. And besides, my ancestors had to protest for the right to vote. Women are completely legally equal to men everywhere now, so I really have nothing to complain about "inequality", and it's only fair for me to make a tiny sacrifice - some sweat drops here and there - for men to get a good education. I mean, they'd do the same for me, right?

Well, because men in shorts isn't distracting - everybody knows women can't be distracted by that kind of thing since they don't think about sex except to please their man (when he wants it, that is) - I just can't understand how hard it is for men to control themselves around women in shorts. So some nice men make sure to tell me all about it - how, by wearing shorts, I am asking to be raped and showing the world that I am an "easy girl" - are truly just looking out for me. Yes, men and women can wear shorts, but men are so much more wild (how could I say anything about inequality! These men are putting themselves down! How noble!), so it really is in a woman's best interest, if she values her safety and her virginity, to just cover up her damn body. And - even worse - if I happened to wear a tank top AND shorts, I could easily be confused for a prostitute! And the weather-appropriate nature of the outfit is no excuse; everybody knows that heat builds aggression and sexual tension.

No way do I want to have anyone confuse me for a prostitute, especially since any display of sexuality from women makes it extremely difficult for them to get accepted to college or receive a job that wouldn't further sexualize them. Think about all of those examples of girls whose nudes got leaked... most of their lives, ruined! And completely their faults, too - if they hadn't sent those nasty pictures to boys (who are just going to be boys, I'm sure they didn't mean any harm by sending the pictures to all of their friends and posting them on social media. I mean, good for them for even receiving them - what a score!), they would be completely fine right now.

And honestly, I probably shouldn't even have bought these shorts anyway. My money would have been much better spent on long, Victorian dresses that ensure chastity because those are what I need to wear to ensure that men take me seriously, especially since shorts being worn by women began as a part of the feminist movement. I don't want them to think I'm a feminist, because then they think I'm lesbian and/or looking to stir up trouble for social change, two things that are second-and-third on the "unforgivable sins list" right underneath "taking birth control" (because that would be shunning my womanly purpose, to have kids. Plus, everybody knows that once you get on birth control, you have sex with every single person that you see, even if you're not on it to prevent pregnancy).

How hard is it honestly to just sit at home, raise my kids to be good people and work to make my man proud? You better believe that will be me in the future - his goals are my goals. After all, he spends all day at work in loooong meetings with his female secretary to make money for me to live on. And isn't it just the decent thing for me to try to please somebody to whom I've pledged to spend my whole life? Even though I'm in high school now, I know he wouldn't want me to wear shorts because then guys might see me, have sex with me and then I'd be cheating. And since he'd understand how hard it is for those guys to resist, of course that would be my fault. Plus, what if I meet him when I'm wearing shorts and he decides I'm too easy for him and then I never get married? And assume that I've already had sex - even if I haven't - and never marry me because, of course, who wants to marry a girl who isn't a virgin? Who will support me then? What will I do? All because of my stupid, slutty shorts!

So, here's a thank you to everybody who has ever told me to "put on more clothes" or to "cover myself up" or to "have some respect for myself and my body" when I've been wearing a perfectly weather-acceptable, fairly-modest outfit. Thank you to everybody who has reminded rape victims that they were asking for it and that their attack was their fault. Thank you to everybody who has discouraged women from pursuing freedom of reproductive health, freedom of equal pay and freedom of safety. You are all truly keeping people safe and saving lives; God bless.