You thought he/she was the one. You created this life together, and now it's gone. You start thinking of all the happy times together: the late night drives, the first time you said "I love you," and you're left wondering how you'll ever move on.
You either turn to food, or turn away from it. You're either so sad that you can't move, or you run away to get away from it all. Everyone handles a break-up differently, because every break-up story is unique. Whether it ended in betrayal, or "irreconcilable differences," letting go of your person is a challenge, no matter how many times you've been through it.
However the relationship ended, it's never easy to get over a break-up. You ask your friends for advice, but you get mixed answers that only leave you more confused. Everyone handles break-ups differently, but these five do's and don'ts will have you slaying your breakup like a pro.
1. DON'T contact them
Remember when Beyoncé said "the best revenge is your paper?" No disrespect to Queen Bey, but the best revenge is your silence. The first couple of weeks after a break-up are the most crucial. Have you ever heard of the two month rule? Essentially, you shouldn't have any contact with your ex for at least two months. During those two months both parties are at their most vulnerable, and a few drunk "I miss you texts," are bound to happen. Do not contact them. If you get a text, delete it before you have a chance to read it. In order to move on, you have to realize what it's like without your person, and texting them will only set you back, not move you forward.
2. DO find a new hobby
During a break-up, it's hard to think about anything else, and sitting at home doing nothing is not going to help that. Finding a hobby is a great way to keep your mind off things. Sign up for that new dance class you've been wanting to try, or that cooking class your friend has been raving about. Anything that will keep your mind off things is worth the try- plus everyone loves a good cook!
3. DON'T post about it on social media
One mistake people make when they are going through a break-up is posting about it on social media. They share long posts about how hurt they are, and subtweet about how they hate their now-ex. What they don't realize is that only makes it worse. Social media is not the place to vent about your personal issues. Not only does it make you look bad, but you're also giving an open invitation for your ex to fire back at you. Save the drama, and leave your personal feelings off social media. And if your ex happens to post about you, remember that the best revenge is your silence.
4. DO delete them as a friend
Most people after a break-up wonder if they should delete their ex as a friend. The answer is yes. Keeping your ex as a friend is never a good idea. You'll spend more time stalking their page, than you will trying to move on. You don't need to see what they are up to, and deleting them as a friend will make sure that you don't have to.
5. DON'T hook-up with their friends
If the relationship ended badly, there is temptation to get back at your ex. What better way to get back at your ex than hooking up with their friends? Don't do it! If it ended in them doing you wrong, don't put yourself in the position where they make you look like the bad guy. Instead of getting back at them, put your energy into something positive- like #6.
6. DO workout or go to the gym
After a break-up, it's common for people to feel insecure. Working out will not only help you feel more confident, but it also will let you release that relationship baggage you've been carrying. Put your mind toward something positive, and take care of your body. When you look good, you feel good.
7. DON'T turn to drinking
A beer or two is fine. Going out every night and getting hammered is not fine. Drinking on it's own is dangerous, but drinking when you're angry is even more dangerous. Not only will you make poor decisions like sending a 1am "I miss you text," but you could also get seriously hurt. Do yourself a favor and stay away from the Vodka. That way you don't look like a hot mess, and you save yourself from many nights of regret.
8. DO travel
When you break-up in a small town, you're bound to see your ex out and about. Traveling is a great way to get out of your bubble, and try new things. Grab a few of your friends and go on a road trip. Do something you wouldn't normally do. Getting out of town is a great way to release some stress, and who doesn't love a mini-vacation?
9. DON'T rebound
When you get out of a relationship, it's common to feel like you're missing something. People will jump back into another relationship just to fill the empty void. Don't rebound. It makes you look dependent, and doesn't allow you to grow. Spend at least a few months being single--you'll be surprised how much you learn about yourself.
10. DO have fun
Having fun is the most important piece to moving on. Go on adventures. Try new things. Meet new people. But more importantly, find yourself. Figure out who you are before you try figuring someone else out. Being single is your time to be selfish. You have the freedom to do whatever you want to do-enjoy it. Don't depend on anyone but yourself. And when you do find yourself, you'll be ready for someone who truly deserves you.