Growing up, I was always relatively thin. I have never really had to struggle with my weight. Most of this I can credit to the fast metabolism I was born with, as well as my height, which provided more space for the fat to spread out. In addition, I try to eat healthy foods (usually) and be as active as I can. All of this combined creates the assumption that I am perfectly confident at all times, I don’t have anything to worry about when it comes to my body, and I have amazing self-esteem and body image. I’m here to tell you why this is not always the case.

I have been called anorexic, told to eat a cheeseburger, and been questioned when I didn’t feel comfortable showing my stomach. “If I had your stomach I would show it every day.” “Real women have curves.” “Men like women with meat on their bones.” Comments like these have stuck in my mind throughout my whole life, and I never understood them. As women, we should be celebrating all body types, no matter how large or small. Putting someone down because they are thinner than you is not going to help your own body image. If anything, it will hurt theirs. We live in a society where everyone is oddly obsessed with appearances. There is so much negativity in the media, and we have this idea ingrained in our brains about what is beautiful. We are taught to strive to be a certain way, look a certain way, in order to feel confident and pretty.

Girls like Alexis Ren who make their living modeling and in the spotlight deal with scrutiny every day. Comments on their bodies consume the caption section on their pictures and I can only imagine that it gets to them sometimes. This idolization and body shaming at the same time leaves no wiggle room for acceptance of different body types, and creates so many problems in the minds of people who do not fit the mold. So when someone is naturally thin, we assume that she has everything and that no amount of shaming will make her feel bad, because she has it all.

Putting anyone down for any reason is not OK, especially if it’s for something they cannot change. I used to wear leggings under my jeans to make my legs and butt look bigger because jeans never fit me. I felt insecure because people gasped and told me I was too skinny, and they envied me for it. They envied my struggle with being teased and receiving eye rolls because people assumed I barely ate. I used to look at girls who had thicker legs and a butt, and I wanted that. I did not want the attention to be on my body anymore. I wish I could tell myself then what I know now: Every body type is beautiful. Whether you were born skinny or fat, tall or short, brunette or blonde, you are beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong, I am able to take compliments and constructive criticism. Sometimes the intention is to boost confidence, and I thank all my friends and family who do this for me all the time. I value people who give me love and appreciation for my body. But it’s the intentionally negative and hurtful comments, the ones looking down on me for having any lack of appreciation for my body, because I should be thankful for it. Being condescending towards me assuming I can’t say anything because of what I have been given is wrong. I have felt just as victimized as anyone else who is subject to body-shaming.

So I end with this: Your body type does not define you. How you treat others -- your kindness, generosity, and love -- is what truly matter. Your body houses these traits, but it alone does not define you.