How My Sister and I Manage Our Love-Hate Relationship
Start writing a post
Relationships

How My Sister and I Manage Our Love-Hate Relationship

One moment we are screaming, and the next we are making cookies.

1142
How My Sister and I Manage Our Love-Hate Relationship
Kassandra Mendoza

If you have a sibling, odds are there have been times when you weren't each other's biggest fans. For some people, like me and my older sister, these moments happen every time you see each other.

Meet me (right) and Gabby (left):

Don't be fooled by our smiling faces. Within minutes of walking into the same space, we are usually bickering. If you didn't know us, you would probably think that we just disagree for the sake of fighting.

We have had full-scale screaming matches about things as small as which side of a bed to sleep on. It has even gotten so far, that when we were younger, my mom walked in on the two of us in the middle of a slap fight that you think only happens in movies (which I found out was quite a comical sight and my mom had to hide in the laundry room after separating us to laugh).

Hearing all of this, you probably think that we despise one another, but the truth is that we are super close and love each other a lot. We just have very different ways of functioning, thinking, and solving problems-- but we both think we know how to do everything the best and most effective ways.

You mix two competitive, stubborn people with extreme confidence in their cognitive processes and you get a lot of frustration.

I am sure you're reading this and thinking, "this girl and her sister are nuts!" I am here to tell you that you can have a very healthy, pleasant relationship with your sibling even if you are like this.

We have learned how to handle our relationship. We know we can only take so much of each other before we need to take a break. We know that nothing we bicker about is personal. We know that in five minutes, we will probably be in the car, talking about our boyfriends, on our way to get bubble tea.

Now that we are both older and have gone off to college, our relationship has never been better. We call each other about once every one or two weeks, and we plan trips home at the same time, and we genuinely enjoy doing things together but we just need to ensure we are minding our limits.

These are some foundational aspects of maintaining our relationship:

1. Communicate

Guaranteed you know at least a couple things they do that really make you see red. TELL THEM. They might not even know that is what sets you off. Use "I statements" and try to find alternatives.

2. Listen

If you tell them what makes you angry, you need to be ready to hear them out, too. Validate their feelings, regardless whether they align with the intent of your actions. This is crucial to effective communication.

3. Know when to take a time-out

Breathers will be your life-saver. If you are starting to get snappy with each other, just stop. Step away from the conversation, leave the room, or do whatever you need to do to calm down enough to have a civil conversation. This does not mean to sweep things under the rug, but nothing productive is going to come out of a heated argument.

You cannot expect all your relationship with your siblings to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. Some take more effort than others, but that does not take away from the fact that you are family and that you will always have their back.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

92785
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments