Dear Sister, You've made 30 trips around the sun and I couldn't be more happy for you. It doesn't have to be your birthday for me to wish you goodwill, I do everyday but on this special day, I hope you know how much I love you and appreciate that I get to be your little sister.

1. I wish you the chance to have a perfect birthday morning. 

I hope you get the chance to sleep in and be woken up well rested and to a birthday breakfast complete with your favorite Dunkin Donuts coffee.

2. I wish you have the wisdom of someone 30 years old.

But I also wish you the energy of a 5-year-old to keep up with all the things you have to do to be the great mother that you are.

3. I wish you get a piece of tiramisu. 

Because let's be real it's way better than birthday cake.

4. I hope you get a million birthday wishes. 

Like so many that it takes you hours to reply saying thank you. In turn making you feel so loved.

5. I wish you something gold.

Cause well, you know.

6. I wish you get something hand made with love.

I hope you get cards colored in scribbles from little hands you love. I wish this because I know how much you'll treasure them and save them forever and there's no way that you would ever lose them.

7. I wish you peace.

These 30 years have not always been easy for you but I hope for one day at least you will feel no hurt, no pain, no regrets, no worry.

8. I wish you could watch the new Aladdin movie. 

Well really, I wish we could watch it together.

9. I hope you get something for yourself. 

Something special for you. Not something that is family related or to be shared but something you can be selfish with, without feeling guilty.

10. I wish you a full manicure.

Because you know, you feel your best when you have your nails done.

11. I hope you don't have too vacuum.

I mean, come on, how dare Cheeto and Sandy shed today!

12. I hope Dad calls you.

It's one thing to choose not to answer but it's an entirely different feeling to know you've been forgotten, especially by someone who is unexcused. Being familiar with that feeling, I hope unlike mine, he never forgets to remember yours.

13. I hope mom takes you shopping. 

VS, the mall, orange julius, the whole nine yards.

14. I wish you the day off work. 

Well, I just took a closer look at the calendar and your birthday actually falls on a Saturday so you should be in the clear.

15. I wish you find money on the ground. 

Because what is better than finding a dollar on the ground?!

16. I wish you feel like Jennifer Gardner

In the movie 13 Going On 30 all she wished for was to be "Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving." I hope you feel that way today and every day for the rest of your life.

17. I hope you miss my photo collage. 

I know you say all our pictures growing up are terrible but I love them so much. I wish that even if it's just a little or if it's just for a second, I hope you miss seeing them.

18. I wish you feel beautiful.

Because you are. Your shiny long dark hair, your tan olive skin, and big brown eyes. You have always been the prettier sister and set the bar really high.

19. I hope you know I love you 

This the most.

20. I wish you the best in this next decade.

Just like Tim McGraw sings, I hope your next 30 years will be the best years of your life.

21. I wish your pain away. 

Every single thing that has ever hurt you, I wish it away. I know I or anyone can't really give you this wrapped in a pretty box, but I do sincerely wish it were possible. At least, be able to take away all the pain I've inflicted on you.

22. I wish you could have a better sister. 

I've ruined your life for 26 years. I took away your position as an only child. I blamed you for everything I ever did wrong when I was little in fear of getting punished or hurt. As a teenager I didn't respect your space or things. As an adult I continued to f*ck up more.

23. I hope the sun shines for you. 

I wish your birthday to be one of those perfect sunny warm (but not hot) days.

24. I wish you knew how sorry I am.

For that one time I accidentally caught your hand in the car door. Or the time I promised not to tell mom you were smoking cigarettes on the roof and then immediately proceeded down the stairs to tattle. For that one Sunday that ruined everything.

25. I wish you were mad. 

I know that sounds bad, but I'd rather you be mad then not know how you are at all.

26. I wish you a fresh cracked coke. 

*Pulls tab, takes long sip, eyes water from carbonation* "Ahhhhhhh!"

27. I hope you get a back massage. 

Remember when we were little and convinced I was determined to be a massage therapist? Well, I suck at it actually so I hope you get a really good massage.

28. I wish you happiness. 

I know that's pretty vague but considering I feel like I don't know what makes you happy anymore, I'll just leave it open for you.

29. I wish you would forgive me. 

I know this one is hella selfish of me to say, but whether it's tomorrow or in 2 years or 30. I'll be here waiting and I hope that it's not too much to ask.

30. I hope you know I'll respect your wishes. 

I know right now you don't want me in your life and that is your choice and I have to respect that. I have tried reaching out and have been unsuccessful, but it's not about me anymore or it never was. It's about you and what you want.

So I hope you know I love you and I always will. I will never be more than a phone call away. I will continue to think of you every day and I will try to leave you alone but please don't think it's because I no longer care, I just have tried everything else and have exasperated my resources.

I miss being a part of your life, I hate that I have missed you turning 30, but mostly I just miss being your sister.