Earlier this year I got out of a relatively long-term relationship. After the fact, I actively chose not to pursue any other options for a variety of reasons. Despite what many people love to assume, I was not giving myself time to get over him (we had both mentally checked out of the relationship a while before it ended) and I was not "working on myself." I just needed to breathe. I needed to spend some time alone.

Shortly after it ended, I realized that it had been a long time since I had been truly single and not looking for someone to end that singularity. Now, that doesn't define me as someone who doesn't know themselves outside of a relationship – I can assure you, I know myself and am confident in who I am as a person. It was simply because I needed some alone time.

In order to understand why this was such a dramatic step for me, there is something very important to note. I am the girl who always planned to be married right out of college. The girl who planned to be a mom by 25 at the absolute latest. I always joked that if I found the right man I would gladly walk across that stage at graduation nine months pregnant. This being said, after the last relationship ended, I suddenly realized that my carefully laid out plan would most likely not come to fruition. I had to come to terms with that and in order to do so, I needed to be alone.

I needed to not be flirting with other guys or letting guys flirt with me. It meant extracting myself from the social scene of dating.

It was hard to come to terms with the fact that I knew I needed to be single. It was even harder to come to terms with the fact that my perfectly laid out plan wasn't going to happen. Slowly, but surely, I did.

I accepted that nobody's plans play out perfectly. I was not and am not an exception to that rule.

At the end of the day though, I did come to terms with all of the things I've mentioned and I'm okay. I'm happy and content with my life in every way that I can be. The moral of my story is: don't be afraid to be single; it's okay to not be ready to mingle.