It's crazy how much can happen in just 365 days. A year can do a lot to a person. This has been the best year of my life, but also the worst. I felt pain, but I also felt an enormous amount of happiness. I was extremely lost at times, but on the other hand, I knew exactly where I was going. I made amazing memories, but also a lot of mistakes. I felt love, I felt heartbreak and I went through things I never thought I'd have to go through. I felt every emotion in the book and it literally feels like it all started yesterday.

A year ago, I knew that I was closing a chapter in my life. That was my choice and I thought I knew what was coming next. What I didn't know was that I wasn't just closing a chapter in my journey, I was starting a completely new book. A year ago, I thought I knew who I was, I thought I knew what I wanted out of life and out of myself, I thought I was a strong person. I was forced to find myself and I mean really find myself. I was forced to break apart every part of me and to really dig through and figure out the woman I am becoming. More importantly, I was forced to love every part of my being.

I fully believe if I was still in that relationship, I would still be the person I was those four years. I knew who I was with him, I didn't know who I was when I was by myself. Apart of me thinks the relationship died out because I was meant to go through this journey at this time in my life. Yeah, it's been a painful process growing and moving forward, but not as painful as it was being somewhere I didn't belong.

I have learned more about myself this year than I ever dreamed possible. I spent a lot of time alone and it was extremely beneficial. I shut out the world from time to time and listened to myself. I opened my eyes to a lot of things that used to hold me back. I learned that everything I feel is okay. I may not feel okay at times, but I know I will be when it's all over with. I learned not to waste my time, because time is something you can never get back. I learned not to be so uptight about every single thing. It's so draining. I realized I can't control people or situations and that everything doesn't need a reaction from me. I learned that I'm not always going to get the same energy back that I give and that's okay.

The person I'm becoming is going to cost me people, relationships, and opportunities because I will always choose myself first. The only word I can think of to define this year is interesting. If you're reading this, I don't expect you to understand my journey, it's not yours. But if this resonates with you in some way, just know that you might not be falling apart. You might be falling together.

I knew I was strong before this, but after hurting, healing and growing through this year. I've never felt stronger and so in tune with myself. I don't know where next year will take me. What I do know is that I'm going to continue to grow and go up from here.