Being Single In College
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Student Life

Being Single In College

From a single girl to the next.

8
Being Single In College
Sarah Jensen

It can be hard to feel that being single is great when you're surrounded by relationships that are around you, on TV, on social media, and everywhere else. The amount of times I've heard people, usually girls, who talk about how they don't feel complete because they aren't dating is more than I can count. This is most common for freshmen, who for the most part just ended a long high school relationship and now they're tackling college and possibly the rest of their lives alone.

That, for me and a lot of people, is a hard pill to swallow. This notion that if you're not in a relationship now or if you don't find a partner now in college, when will you? How will you? Once we're "adults" and we get jobs, that'll consume our lives and when will we have time to go out and develop connections to people and then fall in love? When you're single and you zoom out on your life and think about the long journey ahead, it can be super daunting to think that there a possibility that you'll be alone for the rest of your life. It doesn't help when relatives at large family gatherings ask you, "So how's the love life going? Any boys? Any girls? Any one? When are you having children? When are you getting married?" That definitely doesn't help.

And for some reason it feels like when someone who is single is like IT IS GREAT TO BE SINGLE and shouts to the heavens, they're secretly hiding that they wish they were in a relationship.

But I am here to confidently tell you that I truly love being single. I really do. This is not me trying to be an "independent woman who don't need no man." This is not my feminist side screaming I don't need men to be happy, I don't need anything to be happy. That's not true at all. If the opportunity arose, would I consider being in a relationship? Definitely! Relationships are incredible. You develop a bond with someone you don't have with anyone else, and that's beautiful. You get to grow with a person, and learn not only about someone else, but yourself as well.

But I acknowledge that the chances of finding my "person" are slim to none, especially in college, and I have such large life goals that I would feel guilty committing to a relationship and then going to my partner and saying, "Hey, this has been great, but I need you to constantly re-adjust your life to fit mine." I understand that sacrifices are made in relationships, but I want to be able to live my life and know that at any moment, I can drop what I'm doing and do something completely different. I want to be able to move around the country- no - around the world, and not have any restraints or guilt. I want to be able to adopt any animal I want, live with as many of them or as little as them as I want. I want to be able to be involved with as many people as I want, or as little people as I want. I want to be able to bring my current relationships to levels that make me happy. I want to work on the bonds I currently have with people. I want to strengthen and loosen the connections that need it. I want to be able to do nothing and everything.

Is this selfish? Sure! Is it what I want to do? Yes. Is this my life so I get to make the big decisions? Yep. How awesome is it that I'm blessed to live the life I have, and I can take it in any direction I want to? That I can be alone and okay? That I can love myself, my friends, and my family and that's enough?

How's being single in college? In the beginning it was hard. It was lonely. Now I'm a junior, and being single is college is awesome. It's amazing! It's incredible! It's fun! I truly feel all of those words in more. It's liberating. It's exciting. It's sometimes lonely, but I have a dog, a supportive family, and amazing friends, and what else could I ask for?

For those currently in relationships that are able to do everything I just said and still feel like they can accomplish anything they want comfortably, that's amazing. Power to you. I have endless amounts of respect for couples to can live their lives the way they both individually want to, while still maintaining independent goals and aspirations.

And for those who feel similarly to me, that's great too! However you feel right now, that's amazing. You're living. You're breathing. And if you want to get where I am and struggling right now, don't worry. The struggle is part of the journey to being okay with yourself. It is hard, it is long, and sometimes you feel like you'll never be okay alone, but I am here to tell you that someday you will be okay. You are okay. You're worth it. Don't rush yourself. Be gentle. Take the time to get to know yourself, your friends, and your family, whoever those people are. Get excited. You have a whole life and world ahead of you, and you can make anything happen.

Cheers, XO

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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