Dear world, country, and all those who are too privileged to understand my struggles,

I am a millennial. When you look at me, you may see your child, your niece, your neighbor, or as that girl from that YouTube channel who smears her own lipstick and sings songs.

Regardless, I am an individual who has endured great pain and oppression from the elder generations, especially those who seek to destroy my hope for a safe and easy future.

We as millennials have endured far too much difficulty in our daily lives, from the lethal effect of different opinions to the danger of things like masculinity and Harambe jokes. There are a few things that clearly need to be made clear to the rest of society, since you are all seemingly unable to comprehend a few simple concepts.

First of all, stop assuming that you know everything about me. There is no way you could possibly understand the complex problems in my life, like the time I bruised my nose because my phone fell or the time that my participation trophy was less shiny than my teammate’s. Additionally, there is no reason to say things like “grow up”, “get a backbone”, or “get over it”. That triggers me. You don’t know my life. You don’t know what I’ve been through.

Secondly, learn to treat me with the respect that I so obviously deserve. Granted, I don’t really know exactly what “respect” means, but I am assuming it has something to do with agreeing with everything I say and not using the deadly concept of “disagreement”. Respect me and all of my opinions (we all know that they are actually truths), but don’t expect me to respect you if you don’t also like Bernie or welfare. That’s, like, wrong.

Thirdly, I, being a millennial, have a passion for politics and current events. Everything is so unfair and capitalism is a greater threat to the world than things like war, famine, and basically anything else. All I’m really asking for is college, birth control, and other vital aspects of life to be free because I feel offended when I have to pay for things. That is not fair.

Fourthly, there are so many more important things that we as millennials need to be making sure the old people who rule our country are focused on rather than things like the national debt or Iran or cybersecurity. We need to make sure everyone knows and supports actual problems that have to be addressed, like how it’s important that we put stoplights by Deer Crossings signs so that the deer know when to walk across the road without being killed. The slaughter of deer due to our own failures to mark roads and deer crossing spots is unacceptable and is just an example of the ways in which we have failed our planet.

Finally, I would like to point out that I am not whining, I am an activist. I will not hesitate, however, to request a safe space when needed. Sometimes, dialogue in my college classes gets scary and I need to play with playdough for a while.

Sincerely,

A scared and scarred millennial

{NOTE: satirical and exaggerated parody of the embarrassing state my generation is in}