Roaring crowds that resemble the Cameron Crazies, refs that are undoubtedly biased towards the other team, and awkward pre-game prayers are just a few of the things you experienced if you were lucky enough to play church basketball. Whether you wound up on the team because you didn't make varsity or chose the church basketball life because it's way more intense anyway, you know that there is something special about sporting that jersey for all of your church friends, youth pastor, and mom to see. Here are some surefire signs that you played church basketball.
1. You had a warm-up playlist ![]()
Full of Fergie, Lecrae and "Get Cha Head in the Game."
2. You never had a free Saturday morning
Because there's no better time for a basketball game than the crack of dawn.
3. You've been clawed in the face, elbowed in the gut, and trampled![]()
How did the refs never call that?
4. Rival games were taken seriously 
You probably made a Facebook status inviting people to come.
5. You made team T-shirts that you wore maybe twice
You use it as a dust rag now.
6. Practice was more of a relaxed social gathering
Two laps around the gym was enough to get the heart rate going.
7. You've used "ball is life" as an Instagram caption.
Because ball is indeed life.
8. You went out to eat after every game ![]()
Lost by 20? Nothing a Cookout milkshake couldn't fix.
9. The score was always ridiculously low
The best games are low-scoring ones, right?
10. You wore tall socks with regular tennis shoes
Because you wanted to look athletic without having to buy legitimate basketball shoes.
11. People laughed when you told them you played church basketball ![]()
Which puzzled you, because it's just as intense.
12. You could have won if it weren't for the refs
Said every church basketball player ever.
13. You endured the screams of angry basketball moms![]()
We get it, ma'am. Your daughter didn't foul that player. It's gonna be all right.
14. You had team dinners
You get a paper plate award! Everybody gets a paper plate award!
Despite its stereotypes, church basketball is proven to be strangely competitive, ironically intense, and ultimately an enjoyable experience for everyone involved, except maybe not the refs. Church basketball will turn your acquaintances into teammates bonded by the love of nail-biting games, lazy practices, and pre-game jam sessions. If you are ever offered a spot on a church basketball team, accept it with a glad heart. You could make some awesome friends and memories, and maybe even improve your basketball skills.
