I’m Sick Of Being The Other Person

I’m Sick Of Being The Other Person

Why am I always the second choice?
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There is nothing that crushes your self-worth more than realizing that you have always been the second option to everyone who has come into your life.

Being constantly used and thrown out like you’re nothing. Being told “I’m not looking for anything serious” and then having them turn around and leave you in the dust for someone else. Even if you aren’t looking for anything either, knowing you weren’t good enough to be that “something serious” hurts.

At first you don’t think anything of it. Maybe you just weren’t what they were looking for, and you tell yourself that’s fine. But having it happen over and over and over is like slowly being crushed until you eventually collapse, and your positive self image is gone.

Why am I not enough? Will I ever be?

It’s enough to make you feel like you will never be enough for anyone. You will never be worthy of the love you so desperately crave. Don’t get me wrong, I know I don’t need anyone to make me whole. But I just want to feel like I matter to someone. I mean, doesn’t everyone?

And just when you feel like maybe you matter to someone, even a little bit, it all comes crashing back that you have never been more than a second choice. There is always someone else, someone better. You’re disposable. You never meant anything to them.

Sometimes it isn’t hard to shake off. Maybe whatever fling you had didn’t last for long; maybe you closed yourself off because you knew that they would leave in the end. But sometimes it happens with someone you never thought would leave you. It happens with someone you genuinely thought you meant something to.

I spent a night with my absolute best friend, and I thought there was something more there. We talked all night about how we enjoyed spending time with each other and we could trust each other and cared about each other. I felt like I could let my guard down, I felt like someone cared about me.

And then two days later, there was someone else. I didn’t even hear it from him. I had to hear it from someone else.

He told me that nothing will change, he still cares about me, and that we will always be close. But I can already feel that he’s gone. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I don’t know why I expected a different outcome. I don’t know why I was so naive.

I try so hard to be enough. I try to be sweet and funny and caring and hope that maybe someday someone won’t leave. But maybe I’ll always be the other person. Maybe that’s just the way people view me. Disposable. Replaceable.

I’m sick of it. I’m sick of people only keeping me around when it’s convenient. I’m sick of being the girl that people settle for until something better comes along. I’m sick of feeling like I will never be enough. I’m sick of being the other person. I’m sick of being the second option.

To the next person that comes along, if you’re just planning on leaving me like everyone else, then don’t even bother. If you’re just going to throw me out like I don’t matter, then find someone else to toy with. I don’t have the heart to give all of myself to someone again only to be left in the dust when something better comes along, with no explanation.

I wish I didn’t latch on to everyone that comes into my life. I try so hard to distance myself, and sometimes I even fool myself that I do. Maybe I care too much, and maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I fool myself into thinking that I don’t care, when in reality, I do. Maybe I read into things that aren’t there. Maybe I believe that one day I will actually mean something to someone. One can hope, right?

Cover Image Credit: https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/08/25/this-gay-twist-ending-to-the-girlfriend-vs-the-other-girl-meme-has-gone-viral/

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A Thank You To My Boyfriend's Family

Because you are so important to him, you are important to me.
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This one isn't easy to sit down and write because nothing I could say would do all of you justice in the way that I would hope I could. These are just words, but I hope that I am able to always show my thank you to you by treating him like the prince he is.

I can replay the moment of meeting each and every one of you all over and over in my head like it was yesterday. I was so extremely nervous every single time and I was trying to gather all the "right" things to say that would leave a good, first-lasting impression and that at the end of the day, you all would like me.

I think one of the most important basis and hopes in my relationship is that my significant other's family likes who I am. This is so important to me because whatever is important to him is equally important to me and your thoughts of me are crucial to our relationship.

The second I walked in the door, I was overwhelmed—overwhelmed with such a love. I had no idea at that point in time just how much you would all mean to me and how thankful I am for all of you!

Thank you for constantly making me laugh and feel at home.

Whenever I'm coming over for a family gathering or just to hang out, I know right off that I am walking into a world of laughter and good times are right beside that. You are all so entertaining and always have a good story to tell me. I can't name one time where I didn't feel like I was home.

And I appreciate the sweet, embarrassing photos and stories about my boyfriend that you all share with me! Even if it is by a photo, I have a glimpse of what his life has always been like thanks to each and every one of you individually.

Thank you for sharing your special moments in life with me.

You don't ever have to, but you invite me anyway. Whether it's just a family gathering, a birthday, or a holiday, I am thankful to have spent those times celebrating these moments in life alongside such amazing people. It's humbling and heartwarming to be a part of memories so unforgettable that you all share and that you have welcomed me to be a part of. They are days that I will never forget and have a place in my heart forever.

Thank you for always being there for him.

Since we have started dating, I have watched the way that you guys love him. I have watched the individual relationships and moments that you share with him make a difference in who he is. I have seen you all love and support him, no matter what he was doing.

With everything that comes along in life, this has been a simple reminder of an unconditional, loving, sacrificing family that is also the best support system. You are not only impacting him, but me, too.

Thank you for welcoming me in like your own.

Whenever you have to brave up and meet your significant other's family, I can say, for myself, that I didn't know what to expect. As I'm sure, none of you did when meeting me. Today, I catch myself wondering why I even worried in the first place. You all have welcomed me in your own ways and made me feel right at home. It is not always easy to do that with just anyone, but you have all taken the time to get to know me. And now I know that if I ever needed anything, I can call one of you.

Thank you for letting me date him.

I am most thankful for this. Thank you for sharing him with me and giving me a chance to show you all how important he is to me. I never thought that I would luck out and meet someone as special, kind, and wonderful as he is, but I did.

You have supported our relationship, given me a chance to love him, and welcomed me to new adventures in love and family. I have the upmost gratitude for each of you. You are the most wonderful, welcoming, and loving family. I am overjoyed to be able to experience just a glimpse of this life with him and with all of you.

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5 Times Being The Dad Friend Doesn't Leave You Wondering What Happened Last Night

Ah, the noblest of positions.

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For some reason, it seems that this role is often associated with the boring friend or the friend that doesn't go out often. This doesn't have to be true. There are a lot of perks when you are the responsible friend.

1. You are always in control.

All of your other friends who are making dumb decisions ultimately look to you to make the tough calls throughout the night, regardless of whether they like them or not.

2. Your friends will always appreciate you keeping them alive.

They might be mad in the moment at you telling them to not jump off of a roof, but when everything settles, they are usually pretty appreciative of your efforts. Always remember, no man, or woman, left behind. If you end the night with everyone alive, you did a job well done.

3. It makes you look a lot better.

If you do it the right way, people around you will notice that you are the responsible one. You might even get a few acknowledgments of your efforts. Nothing is cooler than looking like the dude that has everything under control. And if you can't get everything under control, nothing looks better than trying to keep your friends from death.

4. You always remember exactly what happened.

The classic "what happened last night" question is nonexistent because you are able to tell the whole group all of the dumb, hilarious things that they did. Nothing is better than actually remembering first hand the memories that you and your buddies will talk about for years.

5. When you want to leave, everyone is leaving.

Whether you drove or not, once you are able to wrangle everyone up, there's an understanding that when the dad friend thinks it's a good time to leave, it's probably a good time to leave.

Being the "dad friend" doesn't mean that you aren't able to have any fun, it's just a different kind of fun. If you are this type of friend, I salute you, and for those of you who aren't, be sure to thank your dad friend next time you get the chance.

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