Have you ever been told that you need to eat a cheeseburger, or that you don’t look like you eat enough? Have you ever been the person to tell someone else that? If the answer is yes to either, then there is a problem.
You see, I have been on both ends of the weight spectrum. I was never too much overweight, but I was heavier, or at least I felt that I was. I never felt confident with my body growing up. I was always conscious of it. There were rolls in places I didn’t want and stretch marks in others, and I always thought I looked horrible. Some people would pick on me for my weight, or for the way I looked. Not often, but enough that it would make me think very negatively about myself. Enough that I could never see myself as beautiful.
Now, flash-forward about six or seven years and puberty has finallybeen kind to me. I have honestly never felt better about the way that I look. I’ve lost weight, gained some muscle definition (for once in my life), and have grown into my body and begun to embrace myself. Sometimes, I’ll actually catch myself thinking how beautiful I am when I’m getting ready in the mornings. It may sound conceited, but it’s the first time I’ve been able to think like that in a very long time, so I’m extremely proud of it.
I never thought I would be made fun of again once I lost weight and grew into myself. But, of course, that’s never going to be the case. People will always find reasons to pick on you for something or another. Maybe you’re too tall, or too silly. For me, many people pick on the fact that I’m too skinny now.
I hear it all the time, the “you need to eat a cheeseburger or something” comment. From friends, from family, from many, many people. Is it inherently meant in a bad way when it’s said? Not always, of course not. But whether or not it’s meant in a bad way is irrelevant to someone that’s suffered from a negative body image for as long as I, and others, have.
When I hear comments like that, any critical comment on my body, really, it makes me question if what I see in the mirror is accurate anymore. Intrusive thoughts enter my head, asking, “Are you too skinny?” and saying, “Maybe you should gain some weight back.” I start comparing myself to others again, wishing I had what they have. It puts me back into the same mindset that I had when I was 16 and so unhappy in my own skin.
People think that commenting on someone’s body who’s skinnier isn’t just as damaging as commenting on someone who’s overweight, but that’s bull, quite honestly. We don’t know what people are going through or what our comments are going to trigger inside of them. We don’t know what our words will do to someone else, even if we think that they are harmless. And shaming another’s body (even if you don’t intentionally mean to) doesn’t make you any more beautiful than you already are.
In short, we all struggle with feeling comfortable with our bodies and with ourselves in general. We have all felt too awkward or too thin or too big or not good enough at some point or another, so why do we feel the need to comment on others’ bodies and/or looks? Why do we feel the need to tear others down, instead of building them up? Couldn’t we all use a little body positivity at the end of the day?
There are two things that I’ve learned over the years: 1) I am beautiful today and I was beautiful then, and 2) Everybody is beautiful, and every body is beautiful, no matter the size. I try to remind myself of that every day, now, and you should, too.