My Facebook memories recently reminded of a gem of a photo that was taken on Halloween six years ago. I realized that six years ago I was a freshman in high school but in this photo, I am wearing several pieces of clothing that I wore on the regular in middle school.
If you’re friends with me you’ve probably even heard this story but in middle school, I loved nothing more than wearing tutus to school. I made my own or I bought them from Justice and it was my thing.
Looking back at it wearing those outfits was undeniably horrible but when I was rockin' the tutu/cowboy boot/coffee bean necklace look I thought that I was killing the game. Also, when everyone was staring at me I only thought that they were admiring my fab wardrobe but they were really judging me hardcore. That is why I loved who I was in middle school. Even though I was probably perceived as the weird girl, I can’t remember once feeling self-conscious in middle school (not even that year I got bangs and didn’t style them ever). I did so much embarrassing shit, but didn’t we all?
To give you guys, even more, perspective: on the day of the New Moon premiere, my friends and I dressed up as what we called “the Twilight nerd herd” and we thought we were the shit!
No looking back at it I would be mortified to wear that BUT WHY? WHO EVEN CARES?? I WAS THRIVING!!
I think I need to start having that middle school mentality again where I do whatever I want without thinking about what others are going to think and if I want to dress up for class I don’t have to feel weird just because everyone else is in yoga pants. Maybe it’s time to bring back the tutus to remind myself that I’m weird and that’s chill because no one really cares what I look like and how I dress, but I do care about how I feel about myself.
Why is it a thing that we as humans always feel the need to compare ourselves to those around us? Not just with our looks but also with things like school and work. It’s so incredibly frustrating. Middle school me is screaming “put on that tutu and live your truth” and maybe it’s time I start listening to her again.