In high school I was assigned to write a short story surrounding a tragic hero. A tragic hero is a hero who leads to their own destruction such as people like Severus Snape, Hamlet and Romeo from R&J. I called my story Saul the Soft-Hearted Sergeant and his tragic flaw is his kindness. I found it while scrolling upon my google docs and my friend told me to post it so BAM! Don't be too critical, this is from young meee! Hope ya enjoy!
Saul the Soft-Hearted Sergeant
By: Brandon Joachim
As the dim lights sway back and forth, silence blanketed the room. Tired, weak and exhausted Saul closes his eyes, knowing tomorrow will be a day like no other. It’ll be a day of new discoveries, new jokes and another day God let him live on this earth. This is the mentality he starts every day with.
Saul is a man that many looked up to. He was a perfect mix between John Cena and Chuck Norris. Although he might’ve looked intimidating and big, the biggest thing about him was his heart. Saul had saved a countless amount of lives on and off the battlefield and recently got promoted for single-handedly saving the General and carrying him to safety after being shot in the stomach.
“Thank You,” the General had said as Saul dropped him off to the medic. Instead of accepting the compliment or bragging about it later on, Saul simply said
“Thank you for being a trooper and not dying in my arms, Sir,” and then with a salute and a grin on his face, he went back to his tent.
Everybody who knew Saul, knew about his grin. It made people he confronted feel a sense of comfort and safety. That small smile Saul wore on his face every day made people feel close and secure within such chaotic circumstances. The people who learned to love this grin the most was Saul’s platoon. This platoon consisted of 7 young individuals that Saul saw potential in beyond the battlefield. Unlike the other platoon leaders, Saul ruled with love, rather than fear. He did many teamwork exercises and made them play many games, and the platoon loved it. When it came to platoon competitions and tests, Saul’s Platoon was always the best due to their phenomenal speed and efficiency. After wins like these and just in general, Saul would sneak in extra candies, allow a later sleep time, allowed games and usually tried not to strain them too much.
After winning a Four Squares competition against the other platoons, the platoon went back to their tent and congratulated Fred, who seemed to be the MVP of the game. Although he really wasn’t allowed to, Saul awarded Fred with 3 packets of M&Ms. Unexpectedly, Fred ate all of them that night. It was late now; everyone was asleep except Fred. Saul was cleaning up the mess the platoon made when Fred asks if he can stay up and read some letters from his girlfriend.
With that grin, Saul replied “10 minutes,” and Fred thanked him.
An hour later Fred was still up. He proceeded by asking if he can listen to the radio for a little bit. Saul initially denies, but after Fred says he is feeling homesick, Saul allows. Fred takes the radio, brings it to his bed, and listens to what seems to be a replay of the 1930s Green Hornet series.
“Only one,” Saul said as he prepared to go to sleep.
“You got it, Sir,” Fred replies as he lowers the radio volume and brings it closer to himself.
One turned into two, two turned into three, and eventually four.
At sunrise, Saul and his platoon are woken up and immediately sent on a patrol mission. The soldiers acted like themselves on any other day, however, Fred was different. He was sluggish, unenergetic, and had a headache. Saul insisted he rest but Fred refused.
“Can I go splash some water on my face?” Fred said approximately a mile in, as he gestured toward a lake that was about 5-minutes away down a hill.
“No. We’re supposed to stick to the trail. We’ll be back at the base in less than an hour,” replied Saul nicely.
“It’s not too far, it’ll be quick,” he said. Saul shook his head no and Fred continued by saying “Saul please, just a few minutes. I thought you cared about us.” Fred said, knowing that that would trigger Saul.
Reluctantly Saul said “10 minutes,” and forced a grin.
That was the last thing he ever said to Fred, who was shot in the forehead on by the lake. A sniper had got him.
That was the first death on his watch ever. A big hole had grown in his heart and he began to fill it with helping out his platoon and making everyone still feel comfortable. Although he was told several times to enforce a stricter environment for his platoon, he just couldn’t. He loved them too much.
He would let the troops sleep in while he would perform their chores for the day, he would always volunteer to help, and slowly he began to stop caring about helping himself.
A month later, the platoon went on a 2-week patrol in the woods and when they set up for the night, there would be watch out shifts. Saul saw that most of this poor teenagers were tired and he volunteered to take this shift and he didn’t take no as an answer. After about 4, he began covering a person shift almost every day. There was a sort of deadness to him now. He became sluggish, tired, and overworked. However, he continued to greet people with that grin and assure them that he was ok.
One night while covering someone else’s shift, Saul, completely fueled out, sits with his back against a tree and looks at the stars in the sky. As seconds pass, his eyes grow heavier and heavier. The sound of nature soothes him. He begins dazing off and the rustling of the leaves calm him. Nothing about the windless night and the rustle of the leaves disturbed him in that moment. He finally slept for a chance.
He wakes to the sound of a gunshot. He is no longer at the side of a tree. He is now in enemy territory tied up in a room. As he looks to the left of him, he sees his platoon on their knees looking towards a wall. One of his men already dead with a hole in his head. 5 left besides him. The kidnappers point their gun at Saul, who is in shock, and gesture towards the wall. Slowly, Saul makes his way to the wall and kneels himself onto the cold gray floor, while contemplating what has happened the whole time. He keeps repeating the phrase “I let them down,” in his head.
“Saul, it’s-” the soldier on the left said before getting shot in the head.
Part of his brain flew and hit the lights hovering above. The dim, blood-stained lights swayed. A certain silence blanketed the room. The silence had never been so loud before. Tired, weak and exhausted, Saul closes his eyes knowing tomorrow will be a day like no other. He hears another gunshot. Bang. Tomorrow will be the day he doesn’t wake up to his platoon in the morning. Bang. Tomorrow will be the day that all those corny jokes made by the platoon will die with them. Bang. Tomorrow he’ll get to meet Fred and apologize. Bang. Bang. He hears the gun click behind him. He feels the cold metal press up against the back of his head as if he’s at a barber shop. This is when he realized that the cold piece of metal isn’t what’s going to cause his death, it was his mentality. It was his heart. Bang.