When You Know Everything About Me

"When you know everything about me," she said. "You won’t be able to handle me." Her head dropped a little low. "I am not what you think I am... not even close to it."

"They say people have chests full of secrets. Well, if that’s the case, I have an entire treasure island of my own. And it’s dark, trust me. It’s so dark that you can’t even think of getting near it."

A tear trickled down her cheek. It was needed, that drop. Tears are always good. They make the feelings real. Tears are contagious.

"Remember when I told you that I don’t believe in happiness, and then I quickly added a ‘jk’ at the end of the text. I wasn’t just kidding. I don’t, I cannot, believe in happiness.’

She took a deep breath.


Yes. In reality, she was seeking it. Everyone is seeking it.

"There were times when I thought of getting rid of myself, if only that was possible. But how do you escape from your own self? How do you ditch your soul? How do you bury your past and just, just move on? I couldn’t do that. No matter how much I hate to admit it, but I’ve always loved myself. I can’t just escape."

She took two steps to the table, in the center of that tiny room. She took a sip from the half-filled glass of water and continued.

"I’m scared of my own self. I’m sick and tired of running away, away from myself, and still facing me at every single turn I take. Can you help me with that?"

She ran a hand through her hair and looked up. Now was the time to look in the eyes.

"Can you keep me safe?"

"Can you take me away from myself?"

"Despite everything I’ve said or done, will you look me in the eye and tell me that it’s OK?"

"Can you make things right, just like that?"

Her voice was turning into a whisper.

"When you know everything about me, will you still be able to stay?"

She paused for a few seconds, staring at her reflection, and then she turned, took one more sip of water, and cleared her throat.

She was ready for the next take. This time she’ll ace it.

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