As a girl who barely hits 5' on a good day, short jokes/one-liners are not lost on me. I've heard them all. Some are funny, some are annoying and some are just flat out rude.
Most of the time, we know when the short joke is coming before you even say it.
So, as I speak for all the short girls out there, here are 11 things we ask you kindly to stop saying to short people.
1. "Wow, you're short!"
Thanks, I never noticed that you towered over me. It was completely lost on me; thanks for opening my eyes.
2. "I bet you can fit in that."
Listen, Linda, just because I'm small does not mean that I can fit into every crawl space, trashcan, box or bin you see. And even if I can, it does not mean that I will for your amusement.
3. "Do you shop in the kids' department?"
I can, yes, and I'm not ashamed of that fact.
4. "Can you hear me down there?"
When you yell it like that, yes. But, actually, when you're having a normal conversation with someone else above my head, not really.
5. "Sorry, did that go over your head?" *insert knee slap*
Very funny, Ron. You mean metaphorically and literally. You're a genius, I've never heard that one before. *eye roll*
6. "Crawl under there and get that."
Just because I'm short does not mean I want to crawl around grungy, spider-filled places!
7. "You're closer to the ground."
And just because I am, does not mean that I want to crawl around like a baby. Just like how you being closer does not make you a bird.
8. "You're smaller."
Indeed, I do take up less space vertically.
9. "Sit in the middle, you take up less room."
This is just an excuse to make me squish between the two of you so it's not awkward for you, and you know it.
10. "This is how you see the world? That's horrible, I'm glad I'm tall."
This is usually said when someone bends down to get to our height, and then they make a big deal about how horrible the view is. It's happened way more times than you'd think.
11. "I can use you as an armrest."
This is probably the most annoying thing you can do to a short person. Please, do not use my head as an armrest.
Please, for all that is good, please stop talking down to short people. Yes, we know we're small. Yes, it's cute and we're proud but it can also be embarrassing when it's constantly pointed out.