I remember hoping that 2018 would be my year, but to be honest I was not so positive it would be a good year. Well it brought about changes that I really thought were not going to happen, which has given me hope.

I was stuck in New York working at a job that was a but dull, living in a toxic environment, going from pointless and meaningless jobs from one to another that did not fit my potential, bashing myself for my weight, avoiding all aspects of dating, plunging down in such a bad spiral of mental health issues; the list is truthfully endless.

I really did not think 2018 was going to be a good year for me, as I have lose hope in my life truthfully. 2018 though turned out to be not so great, but at least a bit better than I expected it to be.

I had the desire to move out of New York and go to Pennsylvania where it was cheaper and beautiful. I did not want to move without a job though let alone end up going to a job in PA that I would despise. I took a leap of faith and applied to jobs in PA but also other states and areas that I knew I would not mind moving to. After numerous interviews, I was lucky enough to say that the only job I interviewed for in PA I was offered, and of course I took it.

I moved out of a toxic household with too many siblings. Taking the leap of faith to go to an interview for a broadcasting company in PA was a great choice of mine. I was initially going to do the interview over the phone but I am happy I took the drive in person.

I not only got my first full time job in my field but this also meant my own 40 hours of pay time with great starting pay checks, a great company, not working bull sh*t part time jobs which I had to work 4 once, and to top it off, I was able to get my own place. MY OWN PLACE! Something I dreamed of for so long.

My apartment is beautiful. I love it. PA is beautiful. I was also able to leave behind a mental health treatment program back in NY to start my new life in PA, with fresh new medical help and support. I am a bit more independent. I get to pick out my own food and have people over at my own place when I want. I will say that I miss many of my cats and dogs at my parents place, but I look forward to adopting my own some day!

I finally also got to go back to Israel in the summer for my second time. I have been putting it off to take care of my mental health and just because I was afraid to do anything fun. I finally took a leap of faith and traveled there again with a random group of people for 2.5 weeks and it was the best choice of my life. These people I met have become a huge part of my life. It was truly life changing.

I have been doing more self-care as well with my weight, as I started eating better and shedding some pounds. I work out more and it is fantastic. I also have my own dance classes this year, which is one of my passions.

I also took one of the biggest leaps in my life and started grad school for social work, online! I am doing it part time. It is challenging but I am learning so much and I look forward to helping others, one of my biggest passions and values. I am also hoping that I can use the degree to work towards helping the environment. I am all about going green and want to encourage others to do so as well. Although I am worried about how I will manage an internship, school, and full time work, I really pray that I can pull through. I am scared but am hoping it will be a great and meaningful experience.

I am closer than ever to my parents as well. Not that we had bad relationships, but me being away from home has made our relationship between one another stronger and better. We truly love and miss one another.

I have also faced my fear of driving long distances; I now drive from West Chester PA all the way back to NY! That is truly huge for me.

I started dating, and it's scary for me. I never had a real honest relationship before, But I started putting myself out there. I self-value myself a bit more to say to myself that if I am not feeling a guy, I am allowed to tell them. If they disrespect me, I can walk away. I am starting to realize I am prettier than I think I am and even with my flaws, my personality can be beautiful.

I am also a vegetarian, which is something I always wanted to try. I am so happy I have stuck with it. I enjoy it so much.

I now pay my own bills! It is scary but you get used to it. It is nice managing your own money and deciding what to spend it on.

I truly can't believe the progress I made in 2018; I really did not think anything good would happen.

I wrote this article to get across to others that I know times can get shitty. Trust me; depression sucks, families can suck, work can suck, anything in your life can suck. My year though has given me a bit of hope, it is not full hope but it is some hope. I pushed myself to change my negative situation into more of a positive one. It is not completely great, but way better than it was before. Push yourself if you can, get support, self-care, do what you need to make your life better.

Believe and Hope things can change; it's one thing we can do for a hopefully better life.