She Deserves What She Gives and One Day She'll Find It

She doesn't see the faults in others, she sees other people's flaws as her personal mistakes. She perceives the world from a view where she is lesser than most and unworthy of love. She takes in damaged people and tries to rescue them and is always left burning in the fire of their past that they can't let go. She has a voice in her head that keeps her down, making her unsure of her surroundings. She loves with every part of her being. But something tells her she's unworthy of having it returned to her. Something tells her she's incapable of finding a love that reciprocates even an ounce of what she gives.

She is strong, she is truly so strong. But that voice makes her doubt every move. She can't shake past experiences and it leads to her constantly predicting and preparing for future crises. Her anxiety makes day to day activities a burden. She feels it when she drives, when she eats, when she sleeps. She feels it with her whole body, she takes it in and feels as if it's her fault. She can't help the fact that her past and her traumas keep haunting her. She fights it, I know she does. But it's so overwhelming and she beats herself down even further because that's what she thinks she deserves. She doesn't want to keep hurting and keep panicking. She wants love and she wants comfort but she struggles to find that in a person.

She deserves what she gives, she doesn't deserve to have to keep living through trauma. She deserves the best qualities a person can bring to the table, but each relationship teaches her patience. She deserves to love herself and she deserves to be loved back. She deserves so much and one day soon she's going to find it.

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