It’s fun being the one someone calls after a night out.
You think, “they want to meet up with me,” like that’s something "special."
It’s fun being the one they can fall back on for formals and functions and fun weekends.
Because you overlook the fact that you weren't their first choice.
It’s fun being able to do what you want and not be tied down.
Until you get mad that they’re doing the same thing.
I’m tired of being the hookup.
I’m tired of being the fallback.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m not enough.
I’m not entirely sure when or why our generation decided that relationships were a bad thing and I’m not really sure why we were so willing to accept it with open arms, but I think I’m kind of getting over it. I’ve had relationships, I’ve loved and lost, and I have been the one sometimes “going ghost” instead of communicating with a “significant other," and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve all done it and that’s just how the world works now. But somewhere between the late night booty calls and countless amounts of shack shirts, I got tired of this game us millennials were playing. The boozed-up conversations lost their luster and the endless options for function dates lost their appeal. Is this what growing up is?
I’ve noticed many of us have this epiphany somewhere between junior and senior year. We’re not entirely adults, but we’re too old to do the same sh*t we were doing in high school. We lose our interest in picking up the hottest member of the opposite sex in a bar and start engaging our interests in people who broaden our horizons and push us to new heights. This self-realization is euphoric because not only are you finding what you truly like in others, but you are finding yourself, in a way, as well.
You start looking at more important qualities in people. It’s not so much about the frat guy with the huge muscles or the girl with the long blonde hair that catch your eye anymore, but the ones who make you laugh, challenge your thoughts and ideas and make you feel understood in a world where it is easy for people to lose themselves. It’s moments like these when you care more about your relationship with people, have it be a friendship or an intimate one than bragging to your friends about who you went home with the night before. Priorities fall into place and you realize that, on that list, you are number one.
I’m not saying that you should dump a guy if he doesn’t propose on the first date or immediately let your girlfriend move in, but I feel like we should start putting some weight on “hooking up." Can you still enjoy someone’s company? Of course. Absolutely. 100 percent. Really, though, you’ve gotta test drive the car before you buy it. But don’t forget that you are more than a walk of shame home. All I’m saying is to maybe limit a number of cars you’re test driving. Don’t spread yourself too thin (no pun intended… just kidding, totally intended) because you might miss something, or someone, very important.
Don’t grow up completely just yet, we have plenty of time to do that, but be smart. Don’t waste your time on someone that makes you feel less, on someone that makes you question yourself, or on someone that doesn’t appreciate you for being you. Take charge of your life and who you let be a part of it. Don’t just be the hookup, don’t just be the fallback, don’t feel like you’re not enough. You are not a label. Be you, because someone’s gonna love you for it.