I'm going to cut right to the chase and just get a few facts out of the way.
1. Sexual assault is an issue. It exists, 100%.
2. Sexual assault is far too common and happening far too often.
3. Women are being told how to prepare and defend themselves from sexual assault, and men aren't being taught how to avoid doing it.
Do you not understand that the number of women who are speaking out about sexual assault is nothing compared the total number of women in the world who have been sexually assaulted?
Being accused of sexual assault is a horrible thing, but being a victim of it is a lot worse.
As women, we prepare to defend ourselves and watch our backs to keep from ending up in a situation where we are taken advantage of. It is time to stop saying "boys will be boys" and teach our men about consent and respect for women. Men need to be taught how to ask for consent and how to directly discuss their sexual intentions with a female without making them feel pressured or insulted.
How on earth could you say a woman was not sexually assaulted if a man never asked for consent or both people involved were not in the right state of mind to consent? This goes for any man or woman in any situation. Whether the woman in question is a stranger, a life-long friend, or an old flame you, need to ask for consent every single time. Prior sexual experiences with another person or a close relationship with a person does not disqualify them from needing to consent.
You need direct consent from anyone you intend on touching.
The men you hear of being accused of sexual assault and their reactions tend to be similar: confused, angry, embarrassed, and defensive.
I understand that many men who have been accused feel as if they didn't sexually assault anyone and felt as if the sexual experience was something both parties agreed on. If men would take more time to consider their situation at hand, they wouldn't have to justify or defend it later. Know exactly how a woman feels before you touch her. Know exactly what a woman expects before you touch her. Know exactly what an unforced, relaxed "yes" to consent sounds like.
You may not have meant to cause a woman harm, but you did because you neglected to fully understand a woman's worth and show her respect before becoming intimate. Mistakes happen, but you cannot stop something that you didn't even attempt to prevent.
When it comes to defending yourself or another man against sexual assault accusations or charges, think of a woman that you love. You have at least one woman in your life who you love whether it be you baby sister, your mother, your daughter, your cousin, the waitress who always remembers your order and so on.
How would you feel if a woman you love was sexually assaulted and wanted to come out about her experience to help other women from having to experience such a traumatizing experience or to take back the dignity that was physically stripped from her body?
You would want that woman to come to you. You would want to defend her and protect her. You would want to do everything in your power to ease her pain.