One of the toughest but most necessary things that we have to do in life is set boundaries. We have to set boundaries with friends, family, co-workers, clients, and strangers. It doesn’t make us a bad person to let people know that something isn’t okay with us or makes us uncomfortable, but for some reason, it can still be difficult to set and enforce our own boundaries without feeling guilty.

Setting boundaries means closing doors. Setting boundaries means that you are letting yourself understand that you are not under certain obligations to certain people. It’s something that is necessary for human survival, not to mention our sanity and happiness. There are times when your boundaries are going to make people angry or upset, and that’s okay.

That’s their problem, not yours. Learning where your limits are range from simply telling someone you aren’t comfortable with them hugging you, all the way to cutting someone out of your life because they aren’t any sort of good for you.

The more drastic the boundary, the more you have to enforce it, and it can often be much more difficult to do so. But the ones that are often difficult to enforce are the ones you really need to stick with. There will be times when you question whether or not you’re being too hard on someone that you rejected or cut out of your life, and that’s normal, but you have to remember why you did what you did.

Deciding that certain people aren’t allowed to be a part of your life anymore can be a difficult and a very guilt-inducing thing. This is true especially if that person was a part of your life for a long time before you decided that. But just because someone is good for you at one point in your life doesn’t mean that they will be good for you at all points in your life.

People change and relationships change and sometimes people who mean a lot to you can’t be a part of your life anymore for your own personal sake. It’s a difficult call to make and an even harder boundary to maintain with someone you used to be close to, but sometimes it’s something that you have to do.

Once you set that boundary, once you close that door, you are under no obligation to go back on it. You don’t have to reopen that door to someone who hurt you or wronged you in any way, even if it seems as though they’ve made themselves better. You can wish the best for someone and want them to improve without letting them back into your life again and you’re not a bad person for doing so.

Hard boundaries and permanently closed doors are tough things to come to terms with no matter which end of it you are on. It’s hard to have a door closed on you by someone who means a lot to you, and it’s hard to admit to yourself that you need to close the door on someone who matters to you. But growing as a person means that there are some people that you’re going to outgrow and need to leave behind in order to continue to progress.

The boundaries that you set for your own personal growth will pay off exponentially if you stick to them and continue working on yourself. Work on yourself and hope that the people who are no longer part of your life continue to work on themselves as well.

We’re all here to grow and become better. Part of that is taking care of every aspect of ourselves which isn’t always enjoyable. But future you will thank past you for sticking up for yourself and standing strong for what you need.