Well, it's finally here: senior year of college. Thinking back, it's hard to imagine myself as a freshman. I can't remember a time where I didn't know the ins and outs of campus like the back of my hand. Many of my friends are remarking on how they wish they could go back and do it all over again. That got me thinking, would I?

Freshman year was really hard for me. I couldn't believe that I was longing so badly to go back to the town I have wanted to escape from all my life. I knew absolutely nothing and no one. I had no friends, no support system, and no idea what was in store for me. I was also in a horrible place emotionally, desperately clinging to a toxic relationship because it was the only semblance of my old life I had left.

(The current love of my life when I was a freshman and had no idea.)

First semester freshman year and second semester are two different beasts entirely. First semester is filled with friends of opportunity and having no idea where any bathrooms are in any building. First semester is standing awkwardly at a frat party holding a cup of distilled wheat because that's what you're supposed to do? I wouldn't recognize first semester Erin if she slapped me in the face; I have no idea who that girl was. First semester, I had no idea what college was; I didn't know that I got to decide what college was for me.

When I came back from a much-needed winter break for second semester, my experience changed drastically. I no longer had to worry about where to go or who to go there with. I joined a sorority, which further grounded me and made Wake a home. I no longer just had friends of opportunity who I had to interact with every day, I now had real friends who I chose to interact with everyday.

I was comfortable in my own skin, and had begun to turn into the woman I am proud to be today. I began to relish the attention of being the shiny new freshman, instead of desperately hoping someone wouldn't ask me any questions or call me out for being a newbie. I was beginning to take control of my life, instead of just letting events and friends happen to me. I was choosing where I wanted to go, who I wanted to go with (and I actually had people to go with instead of just desperately shouting into the empty void that is your freshman hall GroupMe). It was one of the happiest times of my life, and also one of the last times I got all A's...

So, if you were to ask me if I would go back and do it all again, I would probably say a resounding H-E-Double hockey sticks to the no, but I appreciate that time for making me who I am today. I met some of the most influential and special people in my life. While it sucked being so open and vulnerable, my first year taught me how to ask for help, how to form close bonds, and how to literally build my own life from the ground up by myself. Also, that year has forever ruined vodka for me, so it allowed me to find my one true love, white wine.

So, enjoy it while it lasts freshies, but don't be afraid to just push through and move on. Make conscious choices; don't just go with the flow. Take cool classes while you still have time. Don't be afraid to ask where the bathrooms are, everyone had to learn sometime!