Summer is coming to an end and I am gearing up for my senior year of high school. I know what I've heard about senior year, but it all conflicts with each other. Will I hate it or will I love it? Is it a time to kick back or a time to stress, maybe even more than junior year? While I don't know exactly what is in store for me I know what I expect will happen.
People are not joking around with you when they say that high school goes by quick. I still feel like I am a freshman entering a new environment with all new people. But instead I am a senior, the top of the class, the oldest in the school, the one people look up to. I expect that this year will go by in a flash. Some instances will undoubtedly feel like they go too slow, but the days spent wishing for graduation to come will fly by and soon I will be sitting among the people I've spent the past four years with, wondering when I'd be able to wear that god awful yellow gown and walk across the stage to grab my diploma and then throw my cap into the air because yes, we finally did it.
I'm expecting to have a good year, and hopefully a big step up from junior year. I know applying for college is stressful and that may consume me at times, I'm expecting to have fun and to get involved with everything. Everything. The school musical, an unexpected sport, the talent show, attend every pep rally and sports game because I know I will never experience anything like it again. I'm expecting closure. Closure with those whom I've fought with and closure with those whom I may never see again, because what is the good in leaving things left unsaid. I also expect a lot of tears. A lot of tears because of homework and deadlines, but also tears because the future is scary. Because maybe the college I want to go to actually accepted me (or didn't though I'd prefer that to not happen). Tears because I have to leave all of my friends behind. Tears because, although I will keep in touch with some, there are friends that I am only friends with simply because of the fact that we go to school together. Friends that I love so dearly, that I know I'll never see again.
I'm expecting a lot of change, and I'm okay with it. I know many people will be either trying to get in as much time as possible with those they love or they'll be trying to distance themselves so as to make the goodbye easier. Whichever happens, I am ready for both. Because I know I will be trying to do the same. "You have to start cutting ties," my mom told me. It sucks. It does. But I am expecting that this year I will learn to say goodbye. Because senior year is about the goodbyes to your old life, and a hello to your future, and I'm excited to see what exactly that future has in store for me.