If A Selfie Is Wrong I Don’t Wanna Be Right Because Selfies Are The Key To Self Confidence

If A Selfie Is Wrong I Don’t Wanna Be Right Because Selfies Are The Key To Self Confidence

Is self-love ever a bad thing? A resounding no.

As an extremely superficial preteen, suddenly freed from the shackles of braces and invigorated by the recent growth of some AA cups, my Instagram became heavily populated by selfies flashing my brand new pearly whites (and the occasional flash of cleavage, because I was risqué like that). At the time it seemed like the “cool” thing to do, but, looking back, anything captioned “Selfie cuz I feel like it... #instagood #laikdis #love” is anything but (and maybe showing off your boobs as a 14-year-old is a little distasteful).

Entering high school, I lost some of that narcissistic zeal my former self possessed and hopped off the selfie train. From the ages of about 15 to 19, my Instagram was extremely selfie deficient.

Becoming more stressed, gaining weight, getting bouts of acne, and feeling overwhelmed all contributed to a decrease in self-confidence, and thus a decrease in selfies. I did not possess the kind of confidence it took to post an up-close and personal picture of myself taken by yours truly.

The event that made me a selfie advocate today may at first seem counterintuitive: My freshman year at UCLA I became close friends with a girl from back home who had also recently moved to LA to model. As we sat in her car one night she proclaimed “UGH! My agency told me I need to post more selfies…” To which I asked “Why?” and she responded with something along the lines of “Because it shows the real me, like what I really look like, as opposed to just professional photos which can be misleading.”

Now bear with me, because a beautiful model telling me she needs to post more selfies should probably NOT make me want to post selfies of my own. Yet, it did and I’ll tell you why.

Sure, social media is SO misleading, people formulate a life that may not be the truth. You can edit a picture until you think it's perfect. So yeah, maybe a selfie isn't the absolute most authentic version of yourself I would witness if I saw you in person, but to be honest, it’s much harder to doctor a selfie than another type of picture. Not to mention, a selfie is so much more intimate than, let's say, a picture of you and your best friend smiling from far away. You can blur out some zits, whiten your teeth and make your eyes brighter, but in the end, it’s still a picture of your beautiful face and only that.

The fact of the matter is a selfie is vulnerable. Firstly, you run the risk of people calling you out for taking a selfie. Millennials and their selfies, they’re so vain! Wow, she's, like, soooo into herself. To which I respond, 'Don’t bash it unless you try it'. Secondly, you’re posting a damn picture of your face for the whole world to see! How could that ever not be vulnerable? A selfie is a brave, beautiful depiction of its owner showing themselves some love and admiration–and is self-love ever a bad thing? A resounding no.

If there’s one thing I’ve gained from my venture into the world of the Selfie Kingdom, it’s greater confidence as I’ve learned that even flaws can be beautiful and have accepted my face for all its worth.

So to my selfie queens of the modern age: Fuck yeah. Thank you for teaching the rest of us to appreciate our features and show them off to the world.

As for the rest of you, don’t let the fear of judgment sway you otherwise. Embrace your beauty and post the damn selfie.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Being Ugly

What it means to me


Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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