"I'm too busy to love myself... but hating myself comes naturally." - Abby Engel

When I was preparing to write this article, my focus was self-love; what do people love about themselves and why. So I went on social media and asked the question, "what do you love about yourself and why?" And guess what happened.

Not one person responded.

No one even briefly texted me to say some b*ullshit answer like "I love my eyes" or "I love my style" or whatever face value thing they could think of. I mean to be blunt, I only expected a few people to reach out, but NOT ONE PERSON? I didn't expect that, but it did make me realize two things:

1) Either people, for whatever, reason don't like complimenting themselves, OR

2) People truly don't see the good things about themselves that others see.

So I went back to social media and asked the opposite question: "What don't you like about yourself?" And within 30 minutes, 15 people had already responded. FIFTEEN PEOPLE. And by the time I started actually typing the article, I had filled page after page in my notebook with people's admittances of what they hate about themselves and realized there was no way I'd be able to put them all in this article. When people would apologize about how long some of their answers were I would tell them not to apologize because I get it, I also have a mile long list of things I wish I could change about myself. For example, I am the queen of pessimism. It does not matter if there is a 99.9999% everything will be fine, I will still think about that .00001% chance that something will go wrong.

I found out that some of the most beautiful people I know hate their looks.

"I don't feel good in my own skin. I am not one to put myself out there to try new things because I'm constantly wondering what people are thinking about, how I look or how I do things."

"I truly believe I have some form of body dysmorphia. When I look in the mirror, I see a 450 lb pile of dough. There is no such thing as looking cute because I genuinely hate how I look."

"I hate my height, weight, and my hands. I'm a 5'9'' female when I talk to guys I'm always wondering if they think I'm a giant."..." If I lost weight, would people think I'm pretty?"..."And my hands! My fingers look different and like sausages. I don't even like getting my nails done or looking for rings because I'm too embarrassed."

"I hate my blemishes, how my eyes are different sizes, my butt and thighs are too large, I'm short, and have uneven ears, my breasts are too small and my feet are too big."

"I don't like my stomach. Yes, it has housed and protected beautiful children, but it has also been the first thing I notice in the mirror and groaned at. Since someone asked me in the 10th grade if I was pregnant, I have had negative feelings about it."

"I hate my hair 90% of the time. It never seems to do what I want; it's either too flat or I look like a greaser from the 80's."

People I care about are lacking self-confidence

"I wish I could change my self-confidence. I always second guess every choice I make even when I know it's the best choice for myself."

"I'd like to change how soft-spoken I am. I wish I would stand up for myself more."

"I wish I didn't overthink everything. I'll have a great idea but never follow through because I think about everything that could possibly go wrong. Or I try to make it all perfect and therefore I never end up doing anything to implement my ideas."

"I don't view myself to be an overly good person. I'm always afraid of the unknown and I wish I could change that."

"I love my strong compassion and easy going personality But I hate my lack of patience with others and all of my self-doubt."

"I wish I set a better example of how important our faith is to my kids. I wished I would've opened my bible more in front of them so they could see the priority in our lives. Instead of my husband and I talking about our faith and how much God provides for us when it's just us, we should have expressed that in front of our kids."

And I found out that the most kind, loyal and loving people I know, feel depressed or unloved.

"I would change the way I have to constantly lie to people and tell them I'm fine when as you and I know, I am barely getting through that particular hour of the day. I wish I could help people understand that sometimes it truly is my depressions fault that I'm having outbursts of sudden manic episodes and there's nothing I can do to change it."

"I hate that I care so much about people who don't give a sh*t about me. And I hate even more that I can't let those people go."

"I wish my mind could catch up with my heart. I wish I could stop thinking that I was the burden of any group. That I could drive and not be triggered by any memory or flying thought. That I could keep up with my friends. It get's so hard because of my mental illness-you know?"

"I wish I wasn't so emotional and I didn't overreact so easily. I wish I could be a more chill and positive person."

"I wish I could just go one day without feeling like the world would be better off without me."

These were responses from people I have classes with, that I work with, that I have been friends with for years and even family members who I've always looked up to and admired. I read each of their responses and felt my heart break more and more each time because I realized that they truly don't see how incredible they are. This brought me to one final thought:

Why can't we see the amazing things about ourselves that those around us see and admire every single day? Why is it so easy for us to tear ourselves down and see every flaw, but we can't see the beauty within ourselves?

Now I have a mission.

Now I realize what I need to do, and what maybe you should be doing to.

Why don't we take a few seconds out of our busy lives to tell that girl in our class who is always working so hard that we admire her work ethic. Or thank our parents for working so hard to raise us right. Or tell our best friends how thankful we are for their loyalty and friendship. And damnit, why don't we take a second to give ourselves a high five for all of the unique quirks that make us each who we are.

In a world full of heartbreak, we need to work harder to spread some love and open our eyes to see how incredible each and every one of us truly are.