Some days I look in the mirror and admire the body that stands before it. And some days I don't. I don't consider myself an individual with low self-esteem, and when it comes to my personality, most would consider me a confident young woman. I've never questioned my self-worth in terms of strength and intellect, but when it comes to the way I look, it's hard to unconditionally love myself. I don't think there's anything terribly wrong with that, though.
Sure, in a perfect world, I would love every aspect of myself. I wouldn't be wishing that my nose was slimmer, or my stomach was flatter, or my legs were longer. But this isn't a perfect world. And I'm not a perfect person. College has introduced me to so many new people, and it's made me question the way I look at myself.
I find myself wondering more how people see me, and it's led me to criticize myself a little more. On several occasions, I've compared myself to someone else. Someone prettier, taller, skinnier. Someone who wasn't me. I wish I could stop it and automatically go back to being content with myself.
However, self-love doesn't have an on-and-off switch.
I can't suddenly decide one day that I'm going to be happy with the person that I am. Self-love is a process that is continuous and everlasting. It is also a process that takes a great deal of patience and nurturing. I cannot simply choose to love myself, but instead must... well, I'm not really sure yet. I'm still learning.
I don't know if I'll ever love the way I look, but I'm trying to focus less on what I'm missing and more on what I have to offer. It's still taking some time trying not to constantly compare myself to others, but I'm working on it. For now, I'm okay.