An Open Letter To The Ladies Who Need A Reminder In Self-Love

An Open Letter To The Ladies Who Need A Reminder In Self-Love

You were born to be uniquely you.

It’s heart breaking to consider how many of us girls are so hard on ourselves in terms of appearance. It is especially difficult when we think about how we were raised and what we have been taught since we literally walked into kindergarten.

In kindergarten, did we choose not become friends with people who we didn’t view as physically beautiful? Did we judge people based on their appearance? Did we look deeply into the way that people looked on the outside? Not from what I recall…

As kids, we were raised to be good people. We were raised to treat others the way we would like to be treated. We were raised to be caring friends and taught that what’s on the inside is most important. But when did these lessons and notions lose their significance? When did we forget that we were all individually born to stand out?

To the girls who don’t feel like they’re "enough," please sit down and listen closely.

We are all meant to be different, and yes, we are meant to look different from the outside. We are built with unique structures that make us who we are. Unfortunately, the generation that we are living in has an unhealthy misconception of what the ideal body image is "supposed" to look like.

Why do we all aim for the same unattainable physique? As there is so much out there that makes us the same, why don’t we find peace with what makes us original? We’re all guilty of focusing on those little flaws that no one else see’s, but why don’t we take some time to appreciate the little things that we adore within ourselves?

Some of the most intelligent, independent, and genuine women I know see and feel nothing but emptiness; they self-compare like it’s their day job and stare into their mirror for hours at a time, literally tearing themselves apart. I’ll admit that for a period of time I felt consumed by the flaws I see within myself, but I believe this is completely normal and common. Nonetheless, it irked me that “the way I looked” was bothering me so much as appearance is such a superficial variable.

The only way I knew how to kill this mental image was to take a step back and really think about my perspective. I thought about the qualities I appreciate and value most in people—what I see in my friends, family members, peers, and those who surround me daily. As I contemplated, I created a mental list and I found something in common with all that I thought about; nothing on my list had to do with looks. Since that moment, I decided I would no longer degrade myself for things that I do not find valuable in others. No longer would I be hard on myself for not getting to the gym due to immense amounts of homework, nor would I cringe at the way my complexion looked in sunlight, but I would learn to appreciate all things good within myself.

Just like we learned in kindergarten, its what’s on the inside that matters most. At the end of the day, your true friends will not remember whether you gained some weight in college. They will not recall the days when your hair looked like a full-on rat’s nest. But what they will remember is the way you were there for them on their worst days, the times that you put them first even when you were busy as hell, the moments when you understood them with every ounce of your being, the late hours of the night that you answered their phone calls-- and simply, they will remember you for you.

So, turn your head at the lengthy mirror, smash the scale, and breathe. Recognize and analyze what makes you uniquely you while taking time to see what attributes you appreciate in others, because before you know it, you might learn to appreciate yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.

Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Being Ugly

What it means to me


Due to a series of ongoing events throughout my semester, I've reconsidered what it means for someone to truly be ugly. Though it is often used in terms of appearance, I do not see it as such-- now more than ever. Ugliness runs deeper than appearance-- it runs within one's soul and festers into other areas of one's life, particularly in their treatment of others.

I view ugliness as someone's conscious capacity and implementation of malice. Taking time and energy out of your day to hurt someone else, that's what I view as ugly. Some offenses are more minor than others, however, it is still a conscious effort to hurt or affect someone else negatively-- and that's the source of the problem. I truly wonder what causes that sort of behavior in someone, as I, along with most people, simply do not invest time or energy into hating or plotting against others. It seems like a full-time job.

I can theorize all sorts of reasons as to why someone would act this way: hate, jealousy, vengeance, etc. Yet, all of these reasons don't hit the root reason. It almost seems that some people are just innately ugly in their soul. This alludes to the timeless debate of whether one's personality is due to nature or nurture. Again, although our surroundings and environment do have a large effect in our behavior, that alibi only goes so far when multiple people are placed in the same environment, in the same situation, and only some are willing to cross moral boundaries in order to hurt the others. Just because an environment applies pressure to people, does not mean everyone is going to act out in malice, and it certainly does not give everyone an excuse to do so. Some people are simply conniving and, well, ugly inside.

If you have ever encountered people like this, I know from personal experience that it is such a drag. You have an enemy, essentially, whether you chose to or not, however based on their hatred towards you, they are now considered an enemy, a hater, and any other associated term. Know that they will do anything in their power to bring you down, even if it requires bending the truth and creating elaborate schemes, but you have to keep on doing you. Let them obsess over ways to bring you down. At the end of the day, their time and energy is being invested into bringing you down, while yours is being used to build yourself up. They will fall by default. So, keep your head high, act in grace, and make your money. They can sip on their Haterade and watch from below.

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