Growing up I was never told to be proud of my body and what it could do. There was no "body positivity" that I really remember. The main memories I have are of doctors visits where my pediatrician would say I needed to watch what I was eating, along with the media constantly depicting healthy teenagers trying to lose weight.

In high school, I played soccer, swam, and ran cross country. I was in great shape and looking back was much slimmer than I realized. But at the time I never felt good about my body. I wasn't proud of the miles I could run or swim or how strong I was. I always felt that I was on the bigger side and that was just the way it was. I even borrowed a dress for homecoming from someone who I felt was much thinner than me and it fit me great. Yet, I still didn't seem to understand that I was a similar size to her.

Now, senior year of college and I have gained more weight than the average person does. From depression, anxiety and serious sleep issues I have more than struggled with my weight. I have suffered much shame about this from myself and others. I have tried to hide it. When I see people from high school I wonder what they think. I know friends' moms probably discuss it with them after they see me.

But I have decided that I have had enough. I will no longer keep my weight from stopping me from living my life. Yes, I am trying to lose weight. But I will not hate my body while doing it.

I have decided to actively pursue loving my body.

I can love my body as it is right now, even though I weigh more than I would like.

I can love my body right now even while I am trying to make healthier choices and move more.

I can love my body right now even though it doesn't look the way others think it should.

I can love my body and you can love yours too.