Everyoone who is young loves to embrace the motto that, "you have to be a little selfish before you make others happy." This includes taking steps to eliminate unhealthy or negative relationships and thoughts. In reality, the statement encourages people to become their own persons aside from the life that they had in high school. It challenges people to take the time to develop into a strong person.
I have been one proponent of this because I felt that I really needed to make changes throughout my life so far. When I decided to live by this motto, I decided to do what I needed to focus on my happiness. For the longest time, I felt as though I had to make other people happy before myself.
But selfish is not the correct word.
While the word selfish is what people should be doing, this word can become skewed in some people's minds. The word does not actually mean that you can be as selfish as you want. This can lead to people doing whatever they wanted or potentially reckless things and using this as an excuse. While it is time for people to be selfish in their early 20s, this does not give people the right to do stupid things. Being selfish means that you want to better yourself first before contributing to other around you.
A better word to use would be self-care.
When people are thinking about things that they want to do in their 20s, they should be thinking about self-care. This word exhibits the positive qualities that are needed when people take steps to become better people. It is about taking care of yourself before caring for other people. This is the way that people need to live the motto instead of trying to do things only for themselves.
Self-care means appreciating the flaws and little things about yourself. It means trying to really focus on really deciding what relationships are going to make you a better person in life. It means trying to work on the important relationships. Self-care means knowing your limits and not trying to make everyone else happy before your own happiness. It is really appreciating alone time to discover who you are.
For me, self-care means taking the time to writing, listen to music, and really explore the beauty of nature around me. Self-care looks different for everyone, but it is important for everyone to do.